Secrets
by CrystalHikariHikachu
Summary: Sasori's sister Kirra, move's in with Gaara. She begins school where Sasori's a teacher. The Akatsuki is only looking out for her except Itachi. When her secrets start unraveling what will happen? OCness AU. Modern.
1. New School

Sasori's sister, Kirra, move's in with Gaara. She begins school where Sasori is her theater teacher. The Akatsuki is only looking out for her except Itachi. When the whole move brings back bad memories what will happen. Soon people from her old life move there too.

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Sasuke POV:

You were walking to school as usual when a black Mercedes slowed beside you. You made no movement toward the elder Uchiha's car but instead refused to even acknowledge him. The rolled down slowly unveiling your brother's dark hair and the blond sitting beside him.

"Oi Sasuke need a ride, un" Deidara called out to you.

You shook your head no as Gaara pulled up with Kankuro in the passenger side seat, while Temari and another girl sat in the back. You pulled your self in and smirked at Gaara who returned it. The girl had her face buried in her purse looking for something.

"Kirra," Temari grabbed the other girls attention while holding her iphone.

"Arigato Temari-chan" She said in a perfect Japanese accent.

Kirra POV:

Frantically you were looking for your phone when Gaara pulled over to pick up a friend of his. You grabbed your purse hoping it was somewhere in there. As you rummaged through your bag hopelessly Temari's gaze was captured by something shiny in the floor. She picked it up and smirked.

"Kirra," she said as you looked up. In her hand was the piece of technology you were looking for.

"Arigato Temari-chan" You told her.

For the first time you looked at the buy Gaara had picked up, and he looked strangly familiar. He had raven blue hair that was spiked in the back with long bangs that framed his angular face. Onyx eyes attracted your gaze against his fair skin. Just then a black Mercedes sped around you and slowed in front of Gaara.

"Asshole!" Kankuro yelled. Gaara had a slightly angered expression on his face. You began to giggle at him. He didn't seem like the type of person to get road rage.

"Oi Kankuro-kun wa dame no otoko no ko desu" You told him. **(A/N: Kankuro is a bad boy)**

"Baka" Kankuro insulted you.

"I'm taking my car tomorrow" You said.

"Temari nodded and replied "I'll ride with you."

You nodded and turned to the phone in your hand. The car soon came to a stop and you got out of the car anxious to find your brother. You were at Temari's side until a blond came up and grabbed your wrist. He dragged you toward his friends and smirked as you started to complain.

"Deidei let me go!" You told him.

"Kirry-chan don't fight me. You'll only lose,un" He told you.

"Your such a ho," You told him.

"No you are,un" He retorted.

Before you could reply a voice cut in "Deidara let my sister go," The red head commanded.

"Yay Sasori!" You yelled as you jumped on him. He smirked at you and made you get off of him.

Sasuke POV:

Neji came over to you with a smirk and asked "So what do you think of the new girl?"

"What new girl?" You asked.

"Gaara's cousin. I think her name's Kirra," He said "She's really hot,Can't believe she's related to Kankuro" He continued.

"Hn," Was your reply. 'She's pretty but that alone will get her nowhere in life' you thought to yourself.

***RRRIIIIINNNNNGGGGG***** (First Bell)

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Hope you all like it, More to come promise!

REVIEWXREVIEWXREVIEW


	2. You Are The Only Exception

**New Chapter. Hope everyone likes it :]]**

**Songs:**

**The Only Exception - Paramore**

**Snuff - Slipknot**

**All rights go to the right people i don't own anything yada yada yada.**

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Kirra Pov:

The auditorium was adorned in the front with a large black stage that was framed by large red velvet curtains. A table was sitting in front of the stage in the pit. Papers were scattered all over the table and you laughed at Sasori as he struggled to find the attendance sheet.

"It's on the floor Nii-san" You told him as the class began to file in the three sets of double doors in the back.

"Arigatto imouto," He said softly but you heard it. "Oi, go get the laptop," He continued as he ruffled his crimson locks. You did as you were told and fetched the black device from his office. You logged on to it and hacked your way onto myspace to see you had a message from your friend, Momo.

Kirra now u know we all miss u. And don't get into any trouble with that sexy thing u call a brother. u must come and see me or get me up there.

You messaged her back with.

Aw really i don't believe u tho i bet every one just fine without me and ill try not to get into any trouble but i may have to beat the fuck out of someone cuz people keep staring at me and u know how much i hate that.

Sasori began a long speech about 16th century theater in Italy and Rome. He went on to talk about famous operas and comedies of this time as you zoned out. He trudged on and on with the boring speech as you fell asleep with the computer in your lap.

"Now that I've gotten that lesson over with maybe we can start some fun" He spoke. You lifted your head up as Sasori began to call roll finally. "Kirra let us hear that wondrous voice of yours," He continued.

"And what if I say 'no' nii-san" You asked.

"Then you fail, imouto" He replied confidently.

"Hn," was your comment. "The only exception" you said as you looked at him.

"Oh Imouto take the hat and glasses off" he told you and you groaned. Under the hat revealed black lock with crimson roots. The white Chanel glasses hid your aqua orbs.

"When I was younger

I saw my daddy cry

And curse at the wind

He broke his own heart

And I watched

As he tried to reassemble it

And my momma swore that

She would never let herself forget

And that was the day that I promised

I'd never sing of love

If it does not exist

But darling,

You, are, the only exception

You, are, the only exception

You, are, the only exception

You, are, the only exception

Maybe I know, somewhere

Deep in my soul

That love never lasts

And we've got to find other ways

To make it alone

Keep a straight face

And I've always lived like this

Keeping a comfortable, distance

And up until now

I had sworn to myself that I'm

Content with loneliness

Because none of it was ever worth the risk

Well, You, are, the only exception

You, are, the only exception

You, are, the only exception

You, are, the only exception

I've got a tight grip on reality

But I can't

Let go of what's in front of me here

I know you're leaving

In the morning, when you wake up

Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream

Ohh-

You, are, the only exception

You, are, the only exception

You, are, the only exception

You, are, the only exception

You, are, the only exception

You, are, the only exception

You, are, the only exception

You, are, the only exception

And I'm on my way to believing

Oh, And I'm on my way to believing"

"Okay who will go next? How about the emo kid in the back," You said as you pointed out a boy with raven hair. A moment later he was coming down the aisle and you noticed it was Gaara's friend. You inwardly smirked to yourself for picking him.

"Snuff by Slipknot" he whispered in your ear. You felt his warm breath on the side of your neck. Involuntarily you shivered and walked over to the laptop.

The song began to play and he began to sing "Bury all your secrets in my skin

Come away with innocence

And leave me with my sins

The air around me still feels like a cage

And love is just a camouflage

For what resembles rage again

So if you love me let me go

And run away before I know

My heart is just too dark to care

I cant destroy what isn't there

Deliver me into my fate

If I'm alone I cannot hate

I don't deserve to have you

My smile was taken long ago

If I can change I hope I never know"

You then jumped off the stage and into the pit. Sasori just shook his head at you. You went out into the court yard where no was and went behind a building out in the distance. You pulled a cigarette out of you purse and lit it. You felt the smoke deepen in your lungs as you body began to calm itself. A twig snapped around the corner as you took another hit and hid it behind your back. Quickly you blew the smoke out and turned to see who it was. A girl with brown hair walked around the corner and you put your cigarette out on the wall.

"Don't worry I'm here for the same reason," She told you as she pulled out a pack of cigarettes. You sighed and pulled your lighter back out and lit it again.

"I'm Kirra, You are?" you said.

"Tenten, and if you run into a boy named Neji don't mention this to him" She said worry in her voice.

"No problem, who do you have now?" You asked.

"Art with Deidara" she replied.

"Oh, I have Sasori this period and next" You told her.

"I guess I'll see you next then" she replied with a smile. You returned the smile and nodded.

"You know Sasori doesn't care if you leave in the middle of class right, just as long as your there for attenance" You told her.

"Oh did he tell you guys that or something?" She asked.

"No I just know him very well, he's my brother" You told her.

"Oh I guess that means we can't get into any trouble then" She concluded. You both finished your cigarettes and went back to class. You came in seemingly unnoticed and walked into Sasori's office. A guy with brown hair was singing Wait and Bleed by Slipknot. You could tell he didn't know the song all that well, he kept skipping words. A set of double doors in the back opened and a tall man walked in with Black hair in a low ponytail and he had obsidian eyes that pierced you on stage. You looked toward Sasori who was doing paper work with his ipod in. 'turn around nii-san please' you thought. Still slaving over paper work as the man came closer, you picked up a pen quickly and threw it at Sasori. His gaze averted upward to look at you and your worried expression. He turned to look at the class and saw the man.

"Itachi-teme" Sasori said coldly to the senior. The upperclassman only glared at his superior.

"I'm here to talk to Kirra-chan" Itachi staed coldly.

"She is not willing to talk to you at the moment, Itachi" Sasori glared. The Uchiha peered around the older man to look at you and you looked to the back wall to avoid him. The brown haired boy was starting to kill you with his lack of knowledge in the song he chose. Soon the song was over and no one clapped for him as he jumped off stage. You hummed a song as the bell hummed from the back of the auditorium. Itachi had distastefully left the auditorium to go to his next class.

The next class filed in but a few from the last class joined. There was a dark haired boy that was sitting there mumbling something to himself over and over again. You couldn't hear much of what it was then studied the boy's face.

"TOBI!" You yelled at him. His head jerked up at the sound of his voice and you smiled as he got up on stage.

"Kirry-chan what are you doing here?" He asked me.

"Family" Was your only reply since he knew Sasori was your brother. The late bell rang and you and Tobi began talking.

"So is Kisame still a fish?" you asked.

"Not for long, he'll be fish-sticks thanks to you"

"More like shark sticks! Hidan still alive?"

"As always"

Kakuzu and Zetsu still together?"

"Kakuzu and Hidan now"

"So Zetsu moved to a palm tree right"

"I guess, he's never at the house anymore"

"Pein and Konan"

"Do you have to ask" he said while give you a look that said I wass stupid. Just then a set of double doors opened to reveal Pein, Konan, Deidara and Itachi.

"oh great" You whispered to yourself almost inaudibly, but Tobi heard it. He rubbed your arm comfortingly as Konan ran up on stage and sat by you.

"Kirry, how are you?" She yelped as she hugged you like a plush toy. You made somewhat of a choking sound in order to breath. She gasped and immediately let you go.

"Scared shitless at this point" You said.

"Don't worry Kirry, Pein will protect you as he does me I promise" she said as she held up her hand. The Junior did seem to have point but despit Pein's superiority you were scared.

"Stick to promises you can keep Naners" you said and called her by the old nickname. She only smirked and replied "I am serious, Pein's only warned Itachi about 100 times to day that if he tries anything he will be in ICU for a month then die mysteriuosly, which would be a great thing for alot of people" She rambled on to herself but you quit listening.

Deidara stepped forward and handed you a script to this year's play, Romeo & Juliet.

"Do thou hast other priorities, o won't thou fuck thine finest brother?" You asked deidara in an old English style.

" It would be thine greatest pleasure, my dearest Capulet,un" He returned.

"But thou ist but a Montague,"

"There hast be no more passion than thee of a lover,un" Deidara droned. You and him ended up in deep monologue and when you finnally stopped everyone began to clap.

"You will make a great Juliet, Kirra" A dark voice said. You turned to see Itachi there.

"And thou hast no more hatred than mine" You muttered to yourself.

"What was that?' he asked with a raised eyebrow. He took a step forward and as if it was an instinct Pein was standing in front of you looking down at Itachi. You smirked inwardly at his defeat. You could feel yourself coming down from an exhilarating high you had all morning. Itachi had left and you made your way back stage and to the dressing room. You locked to door and pulled out a needle. This is what you had turned to for a year and a half. Heroin. You slapped your arm a couple of time then made sure your veins were visible. You had become immune to the needle and all you needed was the heroin. You put the needle down as the rush set in. After about 20 minuets the rush was gone and you began to feel slightly tired. You took a couple of NODOZ (Energy pills) out of your pocket. You swallowed them and soon found yourself very alert. You picked up the used needle and put it in your purse.

Your life had been hell for the past 2 years and nothing seemed the same. You pulled your jacket on and yawned. You took one last look around the room and left. You walked back out on stage to see Deidara and Sasori looking kinda worried.

"Kirra, You need to tell us when your going to leave,un" Deidara scolded you.

"Damn I didn't think I need to tell you when i had bowel movements, damn" You said.


	3. Old Friends, Same Scars

**Well here ya go! Review! Please!**

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"Well you do, un" Deidara said.

"Mkay, then," you said displeased and frowned.

"Kirra-chan," You heard some one say. You turned to see a hot blonde walking down the aisle towards you. You had known this guys since you were 5 and he was your best friend.

"Razor-kun go eat a dick," you told him as he smirked.

"Only if it's your's Kirra-chan," he taunted. He was close enough to the stage when you jumped off the stage and tackled him to the ground that you wouldn't get that hurt. You barred your white teeth at him and you both laughed and got up. His green eyes looked down at you as he inspected your hair.

"Why are you here Razor Blade?" You asked to tall blonde with your hands on your hips.

"Well I see I'm not welcome here. I guess me and everyone else will just pack up and leave. Since you don't want us here," he said with disapointment.

"Everyone? You mean.." You trailed off into thought and was pulled back into reality a moment later by a bunch of people flooding into the room. You saw everyone's head turn to look at the people.

'Reno, Yuffi Kisaragi, Rude, Tifa Lockheart, Aireth Gainsborough, Squall Leon, Vincent Valentine, Cloud Strife ... Zack Fair' You said their names in your head as they all came in.

"And where do all of you plan on staying?" You asked Razor.

"Cloud's got a huge mansion in uptown" he told you. "Your welcome to get a room" He continued with a wink.

"Nah I can't leave my lovely cousin's alone. You know Temari can't cook worth a damn," You told him even though he knew the real reason you wouldn't go.

"It's alright Kirry" He said as he tapped your chin with an index finger. You smiled and looked at each of them. Zack wouldn't meet your gaze as if he looked out of place.

"He needs to talk to you, Kirra. I've never seen him act like this" Razor whispered in your ear. You pulled you phone out and began typing on the touch screen.

**'Well he should have talked to me before I left instead of having his dick in a whore' **He looked at it and shook his head. He took the phone from you and began typing something then handed it back to you.

**'C'mon Kirra he fucked up. Give him a chance. And look at the shirt he's wearing. Long-sleeve. And it's one that you gave him. He's sorry. Can't you tell' **You read it and looked up at Zack who looked away from you instantly. Immediatly you turned your gaze to Aireth who had a smug expression on her face. You bawled your fist and handed Razor the phone. He immediatly grabbed your upper arm and looked in your eye. He let you go after a moment and you walked over to Aireth. You grabbed the front of her shirt and said "Let me say one thing and one thing only. Stay the fuck away from me or I will fuck up that ugly whore face of yours. Don't test me" You threatened.

"No you won't" YOu immediatly looked over at Sasori who just shrugged his shoulders. You smirked and raised your fist and punched her in the jaw. You let her go and she fell backwards on to the ground. You raised your foot and kicked her in the side, as she yelled out 'stop.' You didn't listen and kept kicking her until Pein's strong arms wrapped around you and pulled you away from her. You finnaly got a look at her and she was bleeding from her mouth and nose.

She was laying limp on the floor and Tifa had picked her head up. You smirked to yourself and Pein sat you down on the stage.

"Calm down Kirra" Pein instructed. You just nodded your head and began taking deep breaths.

'He thought I wouldn't find out. He didn't think I would find out that he had been with her. When she was clawing all over him at school. And showing up at his house. Then he didn't invite me to that party of his and I had to find out for myself.' You thought. You fist bawled up again. Pein put a hand on your back.

"Calm down Kirra" He instructed , this time more softly like a request than an order. Razor then handed you your phone and you began to type. 'I know you have Vodka around here somewhere. You know I'm not going to be able to handle all of this sober' You showed him and he handed you a water bottle he had been holding.

You began to chug the liquid and when the bottle was at half Pein took it from you.

"You don't need to be drunk now, It's your first day Kirra, You need to straighten up, And your not sober. Your far from it," He told you in a whisper. You looked at him out of the corner of your eye. Yeah I guess he had noticed. Every few hours sneeking away to shoot up and pop pills had become noticable.

"Sasori?" You whispered. Pein only nodded. Of couse Sasori knew. He was your brother, and he would be the first person to notice. Pein edged away from you, but not too far. You looked up to see Zack standing there. He murmured something you couldn't hear. You looked at him and you barely heard him say.

"I am so sorry, Kirra, I don't expect for you to forgive me but I love you" His strong voice was now weak and barely audible. You looked at him and fought back tears.

"How long?" You whispered. "How long did you expect to get away with it?" You aked. He began to shake his head NO and came closer to you as his hands gripped the ends of the black sleeves. You could see tear stains and sorrow in his eyes.

"I never ment for it to happen. Kirra. I never ment to hurt you. The first time I was drunk and after that it should have stopped but. It didn't..." He paused and looked up at you.

"Fallow me" YOu said to him. Pein looked over at you and you shook your head. Zack jumped up on stage and followed you to where no one could see you. You lifted the sleeve of his left arm, revealing lacerations all over his forearm.

"Is your other arm this bad?" you asked him. He didn't answer so you took that as it was worse.

"Zack." You said and looked up at him. "Please promise me you'll stop this" You said as you held the edge of his wrist.

"Then you have to stop. Kirra It's not good for you." He said, the old Zack/the strong Zack, was coming out now.

"You don't know what I've been through Zack. The reason I moved is here. It wasn't my parents dieing like everyone thinks. It was someone." You said while looking away.

"And I made everything so bad you wanted to move back" He said in a soft voice as if finally understanding. "Who was it Kirra?" He looked at you. YOu said nothing and let go of his wrist. "Kirra you know I won't let anyone hurt you. Who was it?" He asked again while comforting you.

"Zack you won't be able to do anything. Don't pretend you can." You said while giving him a stern look. "If anything happens Pein will take care of it," You told him.

"But I don't want anything to happen," Zack said he sounded like he used to, overprotective and loving. You smiled and looked up at him.

"You sound like the old Zack," You told him. He only frowned, knowing it was wrong for him to think you would take him back. He looked away from you and you just watched him closely. You could feel the guilt just radiating off of him. You had never seen him like this. Usually he would be all happy-go-lucky and opptimistic, but now he had basically turned into Cloud, or even Vincent.

"Please quit looking so sad, Zack" You said almost pleading. Zack raised his hand slowly to your face and brushed your cheek in the softest manner. You leaned into his hand out of habit. Then music began pouring out of the speakers. Obviously someone was trying to make a point.


	4. Going Under

**New Chappie. Really sad, i almost cried while writing it :[[ **

**Songs:**

**Going Under - Evanescence **

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Music boomed from the speakers, as a woman began to sing.

"Now I will tell you what I've done for you Fifty thousand tears I've cried"

You were now singing with her.

"Screaming, deceiving and bleeding for you And you still won't hear me, going under"

You walked out to where everyone else was and sat down, but you were sure everyone heard your voice over Amy Lee.

"Don't want your hand this time, I'll save myself Maybe I'll wake up for once Not tormented daily, defeated by you Just when I thought, I reached the bottom"

By this time Konan had sat next to you and was singing with you and you were trying not to cry.

"I'm dying again, I'm going under Drowning in you, I'm falling forever I've got to break through, I'm going under"

You felt a hand on your shoulder and realized it was Razor.

"Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies So I don't know what's real and what's not So I don't know what's real and what's not Always confusing the thoughts in my head

So I can't trust myself anymore I'm dying again, I'm going under Drowning in you, I'm falling forever I've got to break through, I'm

So go on and scream Scream at me, I'm so far away I won't be broken again I've got to breathe, I can't keep going under

I'm dying again, I'm going under Drowning in you, I'm falling forever I've got to break through, I'm going under Going under, I'm going under"

The music stopped as quickly as it had started and you were holding tears back with a force unknown. Konan was about to say something but you put your hand up. You looked toward Razor to put on a different song and he did as he was told. 21 guns started by Green day and you sighed but didn't sing. Cloud had a worried look on his face as he walked up and tapped your wrist with one finger. He walked away and you followed.

"Where is he?" he asked you.

"Back there I think" you said and pointed behind the curtain.

"Please forgive him Kirra. I've never seen him so upset. Even when he found out his parents had been murdered he wasn't this upset. He's never been depressed a day in his life. You know that" Cloud said.

"I know it's just. Everything now. I'm stuck here" You said and looked up at him.

"How?" He asked. You didn't reply but just looked at the floor.

"Imouto, you can tell me." Clouds said. He had been like an older brother to you when Sasori couldn't be there.

"When-" YOu were cut off by the auditorium doors opening once more and Itachi came in. Your breathing stopped and you looked away from the senior.

"Him?" Cloud asked softly. All you could do was nod. Then cloud was gone.

"Cloud" you called softly and he turned to look at you. You shook your head as if to tell him not to. Cloud returned to your side and he looked at you.

"What did he do to you, Kirra?" Cloud was sounding like a big brother again. You bit your bottom lip and shut your eyes. "Never mind Kira, It's alright. I'm here" He said as he gave you a hug. Then you heard a few girls behind cloud calling you a slut. All of your judgment just snapped and your fists were at your sides. You looked at the two girls. One had blond hair and one had pink hair.

"Do either of you have anything to say to me?" you asked as you walked over there.

"Actually yes. Your a slut" said the blond.

"What?" you asked.

"We said your a slut. S-L-U-T" The pink one said.

"And how did you come to that conclusion?" You asked them.

"Well you tackled the first blond guy, you disappeared with the emo one and you were just all over him" The blond said while pointing to cloud.

"So that makes me a slut?"

"Yes" Said the pink one.

"Well then you two must be dollar store whores" You said. The two of them stood up now angry.

"What seems to be the problem here ladies?" A smooth voice said. The two girls got hearts in their eyes but you were frozen in fear. "Kirra is everything alright?" The velvet voice asked. He was leaning over the other row and was stroking your spine. You quickly turned with your palm out and back-handed him. A red mark was left on his cheek.

"Don't ever touch me again Itachi or I promise you will die" You growled. The two girls were staring at you.

"And now your insane" Said one of them.

You looked at them and said "Do you two want to be next?" Your eyes had hatred in them and you were ready to go home and curl up in your bed. You walked out of the row of chairs and headed toward Cloud who had is back to you. You took a few step until you felt someone grab your wrist. You turned to see a red eyed Itachi looking at you angrily.

"Itachi. Let go" You commanded.

"No" He said and squeezed your wrist. You knew it was pointless to fight against his grip. "You were only ten feet from Cloud, but you didn't want to make a scene honestly.

"Itachi I'm warning you Let me go now!" you told him, but he wasn't listening. "Cloud" you said loud enough for him to hear you. Cloud turned and Itachi Pulled you into him where your back was to his chest and he had a knife to your neck.

"Itachi your going to die, i hope you know that" You said and cloud had the most angered look on his face. Suddenly you were free and the knife was on the ground. You could have sworn you heard the concrete wall crack when Pein threw Itachi into it. You were breathing heavily and went over to Cloud.

"God Dammit. Can't a girl get a fucking break around here" you said jokingly. Suddenly there was a thud behind the curtain and you realized you had forgotten about Zack.

"Shit" you said as you jumped on the stage. You went behind the curtain and you were horrified by the scene that caught you. "Nii-san" you said loudly in a frightened voice. Sasori rushed back there as you nelt down beside Zack. His wrists were severed deeply and blood was all over the stage flood.

"Someone call 911" you heard Sasori scream, but you were just crying.

"Zack can you hear me. I'm sorry. Zack" you said softly as you shook his body.

"Kirra" you heard Cloud say. You turned to look at him and you could see the tears swelling in his eyes.

"No Cloud, Don't you dare say it" You told him. Zack was laying there in his own blood and you could have saved him. CLoud pulled you into his arms and you just sat there waiting for the paramedics. 10 minutes later they came onto the stage and you were still in Cloud's arms. You finally saw the note in his hand and grabbed it. Your hands were shaking as you opened it.

**Kirra I'm sorry I couldn't be what you wanted, but i can't live a day without you.**

You read it and sobbed harder. You got up covered in blood and left the auditorium. It was the class change so all of the kids in the hall were staring at you passed Gaara he jumped out in front of you and grabbed your shoulders.

"Kirra?" he ask softly. And now you finally understood him. Why he was so hurt when he lost his uncle. The only person that ever really cared for him.

"Gaara. Zack he.." you trailed off as the paramedics came out with a body bag.

"Oh Kirra"Gaara said as he pulled you into a hug not caring about the blood. "I'll take you home" He said and left his friends without a word. You climbed into the jeep without a word.

"I could have stopped him Gaara, If I had went up there a minute or two earlier I could have stopped him. I could have saved him" You whispered.

"Kirra it wasn't your fault, I-" he was cut off by you handing him the note. "Kirra please" he begged.

"I know how you feel now Gaara, I'm sorry If I ever said anything that hurt you" You told him. He put his hand on your shoulder.

"You never have" He said. "You've always been nice to me Kirra" Gaara said.

"Good, No one should ever feel like this" You said sadly. Tears started pouring again and into your bloody palms.

"Kirra when we get home you have to get a shower" Gaara said.

"But his blood is the only thing i have now to remind me of him" You said pitifully and looked up at Gaara.

"Kirra you still have memories of him don't you" Gaara said and you could only nod your head up and down. You soon pulled into the driveway and you pulled off you converse and left them at the door. Once you got inside the door you pulled off your bloodstained jacket. "C'mon Kirra" Gaara said and gave your back a little push.

"Gaara do you have any heroin?" You asked him out of the blue.

"NO!" he basically yelled at you. "Kirra please don't tell me you've been doing drugs" He said worry now all over his face. He was only like this around you, emotional I mean. You couldn't look at him. "How long Kirra?" he asked.

"A year-" you were cut off. by Gaara grabbing you.

"Kirra you don't need drugs, I promise it's not worth it" He said.

"And a half" you finally finished.

"So since you moved away. Why what happened when you moved?" He asked. You had completely forgotten that they didn't even know why you moved.

"You remember that big accident I was in 2 years ago, and everyone was worried about me" You said. He nodded and You just looked at him and nodded your head.

"I haven't gone a day without it, Gaara" You told him.

"Are you addicted?" Gaara asked.

"I'm not sure" You said.

"In the morning whats your first thought?" He asked you.

"Where are my pain pills" You said.

"Well your not addicted to heroin but we may need to get you off pills" He said with a smirk. You just looked down and wanted to tell him the truth but you had honestly just gotten over the whole ordeal. A few minutes later there was a knock on the door and you went to answer it. Cloud fell into your arms with tears in his eyes. You couldn't tell how long he had been crying but you knew it wouldn't be the end.

"I can't go home Kirra. I'll shoot myself if I go back there. I can't do it" he said through tears.

"I know Cloud. It's alright. If you want you can stay here" You told him. He looked up at you with a questioning look. "I think it would be best if we went through this...together" you told him softly. "It'll be easier that way,' you continued. He only nodded his head.

"I don't want anyone else to see me this way Kirra" Cloud said.

"Well suck it up cuz my cousin's here," You whispered to him. He only smirked and wiped the tears away.

"Hey Gaara is it cool if Cloud bunks with us for a while" You asked him.

"Why don't we just move into his place?" Gaara asked.

"Gaara re-think what you just said" You yelled.

"Never mind" he said.

"Yeah" you said. And looked at Cloud. "I think we both need a shower" you said and looked at your hands.

"Yeah" Cloud agreed. You motioned for him to follow you and you went up stairs. You went down the hallway and went into the door at the end of the hallway. Inside all the walls were black and so was the ceiling. The fan had "One more time and I'm gonna fucking snap" writen on the white surface in sharpie. The bathroom door was white and had "Take Your Shit Here" written on it in sharpie also.

"Love the room" Cloud said.

"Thanks" you said as you went and layed on the bed that was directly in front of the door. "Do you want to take a shower first?" You asked him and he motioned for you to go first.

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**So that's the end Review and let me know what you think!**


	5. Forgetting Last Friday

**Yay long chappie! Hehe I hope everyone likes it. :]]**

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You went into your bathroom and turned on the water. You turned to look at yourself in the mirror and tried not to cry at the blood on your face. Zack's blood.

'Dammit What am I suppose to tell his "Dad" sorry I couldn't save your son, but everything will be okay.' You thought of what you would say to the people that had adopted him. You stripped out of your clothes and stepped into the hot water. You watched as the washed over you it became a pink tint as it washed down the drain. You grabbed some shampoo and washed your hair. You then used some conditioner and body wash. Once you were done you just stood there for a few minutes.

"Kirra?" Clouds voice rang outside the door.

"Yeah?" You said while snapping from your thoughts.

"Oh, Just wanted to make sure your alright" He replied.

"Yeah I'm alright, Cloud" You told him reassuringly. You heard him walk away from the door and you jumped out of the shower and grabbed a black towel to cover yourself grabbed a dark blue one so you could wrap your hair up for it to dry. You walked out and Cloud just looked at you. He had been crying again and he looked so miserable, but then again you didn't look to great. You went over and pulled him into a hug. His spikes were drooping and were dirty, as if he hadn't had a shower in days.

"Cloud? When was the last time you showered?" You asked him.

"I don't remember" He replied.

"Well you definitely need one," You told him and ruffled his hair. "I'll get you some clean clothes." You told im and he walked into the bathroom. Once you heard the shower turn on you got dressed in a pair of baggy black pajama pant and a black Joker T-shirt. You headed down the stairs to talk to Gaara, but when you got down there you noticed everyone was there.

"You killed him you Bitch," You heard Aerith yell at you.

"Dammit don't you think I fucking know that already, you fucking slut," You yelled at her with tears in your eyes. "I loved him and I still did, but I never got a chance to tell him. I know I'm the one that did this to him. I know," You said and tried not to start crying to heavily. You felt someones arms around you and you turned to see Razor standing there holding you against his chest. You leaned on him and everyone could tell you were feeling worse than them.

"But It's all because of you," You said while looking at Aerith. "If you hadn't of been with him. I never would have left him. If you hadn't of fucked him, Maybe we wouldn't be here. It's your fucking fault Aerith, not mine. I showed him love and compassion, but your just a slut who can't control herself. It's your fault. You killed Zack Fair!" You yelled at her hoping to make her feel guilty about it and it seemed to be working. She was leaning on Tifa now and crying on her shoulder.

"Hey Gaara" YOu yelled into the other room.

"Yeah?" You heard him reply.

"Cloud needs some clean clothes" You told him. He came into the room and nodded for you to follow him. You followed him up the stairs and into his room. He handed you a pair of boxers a pair of short and a big T-shirt. "Thank you, Gaara" You said.

"Anytime" He replied and gave you a hug. "The funeral is going to be tomorrow" He said and you could only nod your head.

"I miss him, Gaara" You said and began to cry again. He pulled you into his arms and shhed you and tried to calm you down. "I'm sorry, I keep crying like this" YOu said to him.

"I wouldn't expect you to be fine" He told you. You just nodded your head and kissed him on the cheek. You walked out of the room and back into yours to find cloud in a towel and sitting in your chair in the corner. You handed him the clothes and he went back into the bathroom. You went over to your bed and curled up in the blankets. Cloud came out in the shorts and no shirt. He looked at the bed for a moment then got under the covers with you. You were basically laying in the center of the bed and when he got in he seemed to pull you close to him. You were already asleep and your head was on is bare chest while his arm was around you and the blanket was pulled up to your chin.

You were ripped from the comfort of darkkness by a banging on the door. You jumped up and stumbled over to the door.

"What?" you asked while wiping your eyes. YOu looked to see Sasori standing there. "Nii-san" You said and opened the door and threw yourself into his arms. He stroked your back softly and you breathed softly. He held you firmly in his arms.

"Get ready" He told you. You nodded and went to Gaara's door first. You knocked and Gaara just handed you some clothes for Cloud.

"Arigato Gaara-san" You said. You walked back to your room and woke Cloud from his sleep.

"Get ready" You told him and handed him the black clothes. You just sighed and took them from you and went to the bathroom. You grabbed a pair of black skinny jeans and a fitting black long sleeve V-neck shirt. Cloud came out and put on his shoes and you grabbed a pair of black converse. You walked into the bathroom and put on black eye shadow and thick black eyeliner. You grabbed some of the temporary color stuff from under the counter and sprayed your roots since you didn't have enough time to dye your hair. Once that was done you brushed through your hair and came out. You caught your self in the mirror and your eye's seemed to be the only color on you at that moment. You pale skin was contrasted by all of the black. Cloud gave you a quick hug before you two left the room.

You headed down the stairs and Razor, Gaara, Temari, Kankuro, Pein, Konan, Deidara and Sasori were standing there waiting on you. You went straight passed them and went to your black mustang. Sasori and Deidara were in the back and Cloud sat in the passenger seat. You waited for Pein to pull out in his Escalade and Gaara in his jeep. You were the last to follow and you soon got to the place where you would see Zack for the last time. Deidara and Sasori were pushing Cloud to let them out and you were just sitting there with the car in park. You sat there for a minute before taking a deep breathe and forcing yourself out of the car.

Cloud was by your side as you walked in the door. You signed your name on a sheet saying you had come and you went into where they were having a showing. The casket was open a on the podium was a picture of Zack. He was smiling and was soaked from head to toes. You had taken that picture because Cloud had thrown him in the pool with his clothes on. You tried to hold yourself together the best you could and you caught a glimpse of Zack's adoptive father. Sepheroth was a tall man with long silver hair and blue eyes. His face was as it usually was emotionless. You wanted to ask him how he could not be showing any emotion, but then again you and Cloud were doing the same thing(Well trying to,)

Sepheroth's three son's sat beside him and none of them seemed effected by the death either. You just took a deep breath and took your seat in-between Razor and Cloud. Sasori and Konan were sitting right behind you with their partners. A few people were there that you were sure didn't even know Zack. A girl stepped forward and she had black hair and emerald eyes. You looked at her for only a second before she began to speak.

"I'm sorry that none of you ever got to meet me in the past but I'm Zack's sister and I want to say I'm sorry for never being there" This girl who claimed to be Zack's sister began to cry and she didn't even know him. Well you sat there when they began to hold out roses. You sighed when they handed you one and got up with Cloud to go put it on the casket. You looked at him and he looked so peaceful. His eyes were shut and his hands were on his chest. You held back tears and placed the rose on the foot of the casket. You went back to your seat and they started the eulogy. They played a few songs, Your Guardian Angel- Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, It's Not My Time- 3 Doors Down and Hero - Nickleback. You tried to hold yourself together as the music played. It all reflected Zack so well.

Soon everyone was following the casket out to the hurse and you got into your cars to follow it. It soon led you to the graveyard where Zack's parents were and he was being buried next to them. Cloud, Vincent, Leon, and Reno were the pallbearers. You stood next to Razor and Sasori and tried not to go into a mental breakdown again. You turned away when they began to cover the casket and walked away slowly. You had to get over it. You had to move on. He was dead and that was it, all there was to it. You stood next to the car for what seemed like forever when Cloud came up next to you.

"He'd want you to be happy and try to move on" Cloud spoke.

"I know" You replied. You watched as some of the kids from the High School came around and were messing around. You watched as a blond boy tackled a brunette to the ground and they began to wrestle. You watched and wished life could be like that for you again. Not a care in the world and nothing seemed to be wrong.

"I'm going to try to get into that acadamy" Cloud spoke.

"You mean the one Zack in for a while, that fighting acadamy," You replied.

"Yeah, it's called SOLDIER" He said. You nodded and looked at him. He had a small frown on his face and tried to hold himself together as Sasori and Razor came over to get in the car. You got in and started the car and gave Cloud a sideways glance.

"Are Leon, Reno and Vincent going with you or are you leaving Reno with me" You asked Cloud with a smirk.

"Leaving Reno with you, Naturally," He joked.

"Yeah rite, I'm going to make him sleep in the dog house then" You said and put in a Systm of A Down CD.

"Well just remember to keep him on a chain" He said with a smirk.

"I've got a fence" You retorted and Cloud gave you a look that said good luck. Cloud had been typing something on your phone and he handed it to you at a red light.

Kirra you have to promise me to be happy. I will be to. We can still miss him all we want, but no sulking it's not something he'd want us to do. Promise?

You just looked at him and nodded. He smirked and said "Good"

"So what do you guys wanna do?" You said and looked back at Razor and Sasori.

"How bout the mall" Sasori as Razor said in unison.

"Yeah I need to get my hair done anyways," You said with a smirk and began on your way to the mall. You got there soon and walked in with the three hotties. Your arms were linked with Cloud and Razors and Sasori's arm was linked with Razor's. Cloud just handed you a little golden card out of his back pocket. Sasori just gave him a shocked look.

"He's loaded remember" Razor reminded him and Cloud only smirked.

"Thank you Cloudy" You said with a smirk.

"You welcome Kirry" He replied. You smirked and let go of him and Razor.

"I'm gonna get my hair done" You said and walked away towards the hair place.

"She has your card Cloud what are we suppose to do?" Sasori asked.

"She has A card" Cloud said, and pulled another one out of his pocket.

"You trust her too much" Razor said.

"Not like she's going to try to steal 200 thousand dollars out of the bank" Cloud said with a smirk.

"It wouldn't even phase you if she did" Razor said and Cloud shrugged his shoulders. Sasori just stood there and listened to this conversation.

The three guys wandered around the mall aimlessly and soon ended up in the food court and got some smoothies. A girl walked over to where the boys were sitting. She had platinum blond hair and was wearing a short jean mini skirt and a black graphic T-shirt.

"Hi there I don't think I've even seen you three here before. Are you guys new to town?" She asked with a smile.

"They are" Sasori spoke and he put a hand to his cheek and she caught a glimpse of his Akatsuki ring.

"Mhmm, So do you guys need any help getting around town?" She asked while looking at Cloud.

"Uh... No-" Cloud was cut off by Razor.

"Sure sweetheart" He said and motioned for her to sit by him. The girl sat by Razor and he put an arm around her. They sat there for a while before hearing...

"Cloudy!" Cloud heard behind him and there was a set of arms around his neck. He looked to see Kirra had died her bangs platinum blonde with hot pink and electric blue coon-tails on each side.

"Kirry!" He mimicked with a smirk. You looked around Cloud to see the blonde sitting next to Razor.

"So where the hell am I suppose to sit" You said with a frown. You smirked inwardly and sat on Cloud's lap. He just let out a 'hmph', but didn't protest. You took Sasori's smoothie and looked at the girl.

"So when did you meet her?" You asked Razor without looking at him.

"About 10 minutes ago Why?" Razor asked.

"Where'd you meet her?" You asked.

"Why?" Razor asked.

"Because I don't want any, no offense but, whores in my back seat" You said and looked at Razor. "I don't want the mustang to get the clap" You continued with a smirk. The girl just looked at you, her emerald eyes wide at what you had just said.

"I am not a whore" She said.

"Then why the hell are you over here. You don't even know their names, sweetheart" You told her with a smile. She began to open her mouth then shut it because she knew you were right. "Exactly, and Razor-kun when am i going to see that jackass brother of yours?" You asked.

"When ever he gets off his ass and in the car with Chain and Lucifer" He said with a smirk. ~Who's going chunkin huntin, We's going chicken huntin, Who's goin~ You phone rang out and grabbed it and looked at the caller ID. "Jagger" glowed on the screen in front of you. You answered it and stuck the iphone to your face.

"What's goin on Nigra?" You asked.

"Not shit is that bastard sitting beside to you?" He asked.

"Yeah he is" You said as Razor began shaking his head back and forth and waving his arms no. "Here you are Razor" You said and handed him the phone.

"Hey there lil bro" He said innocently. You could hear Jagger bitching at Razor. Probably for not paying the electric bill or something. Razor continued to talk to the angry 17 year old on the other end.

"Why don't you just drag your ass out here to yell at him yourself," Sasori took the phone from Razor, and you could here Jaggers voice on the other end. Sasori just gave a two lettered reply and handed you the phone.

"So when you coming to see me, Jagger?" You asked sweetly. Just then the phone went dead and you pulled your phone away to see a "Call Fail" flashing on the screen.

"Boo!" You heard a voice behind you. You turned to see Jagger, Chain, and Lucifer. Jagger had platinum blonde hair like Razor's except it was longer and his eyes with a deep blue. Chain had sliver hair that shined the right way in the sun and piercing black eyes. Lucifer was the last one in the small group, he had white blond hair and crimson eyes that looked like blood. You stared at the three boys for a moment before you jumped into Jagger's arms. Jagger was the only person outside of the Akatsuki to know what happened.

"We have nothing to worry about right?" He whispered in your ear and you just smirked and shook your head childishly.

"Kirra," You heard Lucifer scorn at your hair.

"Yes Lucy?" You asked and got off Jagger.

"What did you do to your wonderful red hair?" He asked.

"I died it black when I moved then just went to get it done the right way. Do you like it?" You asked him as you turned your head from side to side.

"Of course. But what is our boss going to say you know he doesn't like you doing this without consulting him first. It could hurt his business" Lucifer stated as he tried not to say to much. You gave Razor a look that said his friend needed to leave, and he shooed her away.

"Well honestly Orochimaru can kiss my as I'm the one doing all the work. Coming up with all the material, and preforming all of it. So I could care less what that bastard wants" You said to the group.

"Im glad you changed your hair there are Forgetting Last Friday posters everywhere" Chain said as he looked around.

"Yea and the new album is going to ruin all the undercover stuff isn't it?" Jagger asked.

"Yea well, It's not my fault we got so big. It's not what I asked for. I just wanted to have enough money to live comfortably," You told them.

"Yea I'm glad I never tell people your my sister" Sasori said with a smirk.

"Then the guys would never leave you alone" Razor teased. You just laughed.

"Yeah do you guys think it's a good idea for us to be in public around here," Chain asked as people began to stare at the crowd.

"Well I'm going to get out of here before a mob swarms you people and I get discovered," You said and stood up with Cloud quick to follow.

"Hey Cloud, Where's Zack. I thought he'd be with you guys today" Jagger asked before the two of you could escape. You just gave him a harsh look and walked away.

"I guess Kirra didn't tell you guys. He committed yesterday. And the funeral was earlier," Razor said. The three boys stood there in shock. Jagger slowly eased his hand into his back pocket and pulled out pieces paper that had lyric written on them.

"Looks like our new album is going to take a new turn" Jagger said as he read the lyrics and handed them to Chain then to Lucifer. Jagger watched as Kirra and Cloud left the food court and just as she had said girl began to swarm the table. Along with guys who were looking for Kirra.

"Shit" the three boys mumbled in unison.

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**Hope you like it :]] I'm not sure what I'm doing, but it'll all work out in the end.**

** Review please!**


	6. In The Pouring Rayne

Sasuke POV:

"Forgetting Last Friday. You have to be shitting me!" Naruto yelled as he stared at the poster that displayed the bands next concert, which was next week.

"Dude I hear the lead singer is having a nervous breakdown and no one can find her" Kiba continued. ~These lies are leading me astray its too much for me to stay~ Kiba's phone rang letting him know he had a text. "She just updated her status on Twitter it says 'Fucked with my hair if the producer doesn't like it he can fire me i don't give a damn anymore" Kiba read.

"Sounds like the rumors are true" Said Neji from the other end of the table.

"I don't understand why you people are so obsessed. Sure they have good music,but give it a rest" You said with no emotion except a slight hint of annoyance.

"Dude she's hot, she can sing, and now single" Kiba reasoned.

"But why would she date any of us?" Naruto answered for you.

"Exactly, she's probably a stuck up bitch who just got mad cuz she can't get everything she wants," You said your complete thoughts.

"No dude actually I hear she was living with the drummer for a while, because she couldn't pay the bills," Kiba retorted.

"Probably all the drugs" You said and recieved glares from Naruto and Kiba.

"And now she's living with some family somewhere" Naruto said.

"Whatever I still think she's just a whore. A rich whore, but still a whore" you reasoned with yourself.

"How dare you talk about her like that!" You heard Sakura and Ino yell from behind you.

"She's amazing. She's pretty, she's surounded by hot guys all the time and she can get any guy she wants,well not that i can't" Ino said.

"She's my idol" Sakura said as she stared at the poster of the red haired girl.

"Her hair is like always perfect" Ino finished.

"Yeah well she died it and all kinds of shit from what I hear" Kiba said.

"Your lieing. She would never" Ino retorted evily. Kiba handed her the phone with the twitter message and she stared at it with her mouth open and eyes wide. "I guess she did" Ino stated.

~All day I dream about sex, All day I dream about fucking~ Naruto's phone rang out letting him know he had a text.

"Uh. guys Hinata just texted me and said theres a mob in the food court," Naruto said.

"And?" You said boredly as you tilted the chair back.

"And Forgetting Last Friday is in the food court," Naruto finished. Ino and Sakura began to freak out and ran to the watched as Kiba, Naruto and Neji did the same. You got up from the chair and followed after them boredly.

Kirra POV:

"Shit this is so funny" You said as you leaned on a rail on one of the upper floors in the mall.

"Yeah, but you know soon everyone's gonna be looking for you, right?" He said.

"Yeah. Dammit, but Cloud it's so funny" You said as a group of people came rushing by you. "I guess their on their way to see the boys too" You said with a chuckle.

"Yeah. Probably looking for you too" Cloud smirked.

"Shut up. Maybe some of them are gay and want Jagger. You never know around here." You stated and smirked. The two of you soon retreated to the car and went home. Cloud was driving and had the music turned up. You spun the dial down and looked at him.

"Hey I want to know what you think of this song," You said and he nodded. You turned the music off and began to sing.

"Perfect by nature icons of self indulgence just what we all need more lies about a world that

never was and never will be have you no shame don't you see me you know you've got everybody fooled" You sang out with your eyes closed then slowly looked at Cloud as you kept singing.

"look here she comes now bow down and stare in wonder oh how we love you no flaws when you're pretending but now i know she

never was and never will be you don't know how you've betrayed me and somehow you've got everybody fooled

without the mask where will you hide can't find yourself lost in your lie

i know the truth now i know who you are and i don't love you anymore" You closed your eyes again and tryed not to cry as you sang.

"it never was and never will be you don't know how you've betrayed me and somehow you've got everybody fooled

it never was and never will be you're not real and you can't save me somehow now you're everybody's fool" You finished and continued to look at the floor. You felt Cloud's hand on your knee and you looked up to see him also fighting back the tears.

"I like it, the next top single" he said without a crack in his voice and you could only nod and smile. You took a deep breathe and sighed.

"I was thinking about preforming it at that concert if I get all the guys back to your place we can practice," You said and looked at Cloud, who only nodded.

"Love you Cloud," You said with a smirk.

"Love you too, Kirry" He said and you smiled.

"Do you think he's happy now," You asked unaware you were thinking out loud.

"Yeah, I think he would be happy that your alright, Kirra you should stop for him," He said and you looked at him with a serious expression.

"Okay" You said and Cloud gave you the most shocked look. "But theres some one you need to meet, Pull over." You comanded and Cloud looked so confused, but pulled over. You jumped in the driver's seat and put the car in gear. You led the car down winding roads and out into the country. You turned onto a small driveway that lead to a large house on alot of land. You jumped out of the car and Cloud followed behind hesitantly.

"Who's house is this?" Cloud asked.

"Minato Namikaze's" You told him.

"Who?"

"A guy I trust very dearly. He's my God Father," You told him with a smile. Cloud only nodded and followed you up the steps. You knocked on the door loudly and little boy rushed to answer the door.

Cloud POV:

Kirra knocked on the door, all to loudly and a little boy answered the door. He had black hair the fell in a shaggy hair style. His eyes widened as he saw Kirra, but the words out of his mouth wre ones you didn't expect.

"Mommy!" The two year old yelled and jumped into Kirra's arms. 'Mommy what the fuck, maybe he's just calling her that,' you thought as you watched Kirra hold the kid in her arms.

"Hey there sweety, How are you?" She asked the child.

"Where's Gir?" the kid asked while completly avoiding what she had said.

"Jagger couldn't come this time. He had work to do," Kirra told him with a smile.

"You guys always have work and can never come see me," The two year old pouted. He was very smart for his age.

"Hey, but I brought someone else to see you, Do you want to meet him, I'll let you play with his hair" She said while whispering parts and the kid just noddd his head up and down.

"Rayne this is Cloud" Kirra said while looking in your direction. "Cloud this is Rayne" She said and handed Rayne to you. Rayne was light in you arms, but it all seemed wierd to you.

"Kirra?" You asked hesitantly. Kirra just walked over and tooked the child from you.

"Mommy, Uncle Mini is being mean, he won't play with me anymore," He said and looked angry for only a moment.

"Well I guess I'll just have to give him a lecture won't I" Kirra said in a demanding voice.

"Yeah" Rayne agreed.

"Well let's go inside and talk to him then," Kirra said and walked in the door. You trailed behind as Kirra put Rayne down and he ran into the other room.

Kirra POV:

You put Rayne down and he ran into the other room where Minato was. You turned to look at Cloud who seemed to be out of it.

"Cloud?" You asked and took a closer look at him.

"Who's?" He asked and you looked down.

"Don't tell anyone. You and Jagger are the only two that know. I haven't even told Sasori yet," You begged.

"Who's is it?" Cloud asked this time more forceful and you only looked away.

"Is it that guy's the one who had you all scared, is it Itachi's?" Cloud asked and you only nodded your head. You couldn't look at the blonde.

"Cloud, Sasori already wants him dead along with so many other people, but that. I can't do that to Rayne. I couldn't take his father from him," You reasoned.

"But Sasori did that to you," Cloud said.

"Because it was for the better. Or parents were horrible. He only did it to protect me," You said softly.

"And I'll do it if I have to, to protect Rayne" Cloud spoke out in the protective tone he always had.

"Cloud I'll tell everyone when I think their ready," You said.

"You never should have hid something like this in the first place, Kirra" Cloud said desperatly. Some one cleared their throat behind you and you turned to see a blonde man with spikey hair leaning against the wall.

"This is Zack, I presume," Minato spoke.

"No I'm Cloud" Cloud only gave you a look that said the two of you would talk.

"Oh, now I see, emotionless face all black," Minato said and nodded his head as he studied Cloud's every move.

"Minato, It's great to see you again" You said and went over to the man and gave him a hug. "But you see we left Zack's funeral earlier" Kirra said with a small frown.

"Oh, I'm sorry Kirra" Minato pulled you into him tighter.

"It's alright Minato. I'll be fine I promise," You held up your hand and Minato only looked at you with a raised eyebrow.

"Uh huh" He said and turned to walk into his living room. "Oh no I'm dying" You heard Minato say dramticly then you heard Rayne screaming.

"Uncle Mini Your squishing me. Get up!" The child comanded and Minato lay there, but didn't put to much weight on him. Eventually the child began to hit him and made Minato finally get up. He smiled and pulled Rayne into his lap.

"So what brings you two to my humble abode?" He asked with a bright smile. Minato was a tall blonde man whos blonde hair was spiked wildly. He had bright blue eyes and in a way reminded you of Pein in the way he held himself, confident and unafraid.

"Well I haven't come to see Rayne in a while and I need to talk to you about a little something" You said while holding up two fingers closely together.

"Does it have to do with him?" Minato asked and motioned with his eyes to Rayne.

"Yes" You said and nodded you head.

"Mommy when am I gonna come live with you?" Rayne asked and looked up at you hopefully.

"Soon sweetheart" You told him with a smile.

"But that's what you said last time," Rayne acknowlaged and you just looked down at him.

"It will be soon I promise. That's what I need to talk to Uncle Mini about" You said with a smile. Minato sat Rayne on the floor and walked out of the room. "Rayne why don't you play with Cloud I'm sure he'd love too" You told Rayne and kissed him on the forehead.

"Okay" You heard him say and you walked out of the room. You walked down the hall and into Minato's home office. Bookshelves lined the walls with tons of books.

"Are you cleaning up?" Minato asked.

"Yes actually. I'm stopping now for Zack. It's what he would have wanted. But your going to have to keep him atleast another 2 weeks I have to get us a place to stay since I'm staying with my cousins right now. But I will be taking him soon I promise Minato," You said seriously.

"Yeah you know I enjoy the little rascal. He's a kind boy, unlike his father, whom i still want to kill I'll let you know that," Minato said with a smile. Even while giving threats he always had a smile on his face.

"Yeah I know, but Pein will do that once all this gets out" You said with a sigh. ~Who's going chunkin huntin, We's going chicken huntin~ Minato opened his phone and put it to his ear, and you couldn't help, but smile.

"Yeah Naruto I know, Love you too, bye" Minato said with a smile and looked back at me. "5 minutes" He said and you nodded.

"Me and Cloud are probably going to head back to Gaara's I'll be back soon," you said.

"Well Naruto is coming over with a couple friends and then I don't know. BUT I will let you know that Rayne likes to be read a book or played music when he goes to sleep his favorite food is dango, and he can't sleep without his teddy bear," Minato said with a smile as he got up.

"Nice too know" You said with a smile. Minato gave you a hug before you walked out of the room. You wakled back into they living room to see Rayne had one of his toy dart guys and was shooting cloud with it and laughing histarically. CLoud laughed as well when they began hitting him on the cheek. Giggles escaped your lips as you walked over to save Cloud and Rayne shot you in the stomach and you fell onto Cloud fully. YOu closed your eyes and held still while Rayne rushed over.

"Mommy are you alright, look there not reat darts I promise!" He exclaimed and you opened your eyes and grabbed him quickley as you pulled him into your lap.

"I know, sweetie" You told him as you began to tickled him. He began giggling and you remembered the time and stood up with Rayne in your arms.

"Sweetheart me and Cloud have to leave. But I promise you sweetie you'll becoming to live with me soon," You told him with a smile.

"But Mommy you just got here, why do you have to leave," Rayne pouted at you.

"Because Mommie has to go back to work soon, But sweetie I'll come and get you soon and we'll go get ice cream, Okay?" You reasoned and Rayne shook his head up and down with a big smile on his face. "Okay sweetheart I love you" You said and kissed him lightly on the cheek.

"I love you too Mommie" He said as he wrapped his arms around you neck tightly. He let go and you kissed him on the cheek lightly and set him down. You and Cloud got into the car and you let out a sigh.

"If your going to yell at me go ahead and do it now," You said in a small voice. Cloud just looked at you for a long moment then you felt him pull you into a hug.

"Kirra you don't have to do this alone. I can help you with Rayne if you want," Cloud spoke in a comforting tone, like Sasori would.

"CLoud all I need is a decent home for me and Rayne, but I'm not going to ask you for that. It would be too much," YOu were about to go on when Cloud interupted.

"Consider it done Kirra, I just want that kid to have his mother. He deserves that much. 


	7. Inside The Fire

**Hey sorry It's been forever, but I've had so much school work It's been driving me nuts! Well here's the next chapter enjoy!**

* * *

_FF 2 weeks (After School)_

You and Cloud sat in the depths of your room. You had a pipe in one hand and a lighter in the other. Your head was numb from the weed and music was booming through the room.

"Are you alright to drive to the arena, Kirra?" Cloud said and you nodded your head.

"Yeah I'll be fine, Promise," You said as you stood and stretched.

"Visine?" Cloud asked as he stood up.

"Yeah, what about me?" You asked and he only nodded. You both went into the bathroom and put in some visine and sprayed some perfume.

"Okay," Cloud said as he walked back to the door. The two of you walked down the stairs where Gaara had the livingroom packed with his friends.

"You feeling alright Kirra?" You heard Gaara yell at you.

"Yeah never better," You said with a big smile as you poked your head in the room.

"You're stoned aren't you?" Temari asked and you could only nod your head up and down.

"Next time let us know, we'll get in on it," A brown haired boy said from the floor.

"Shit, your gonna have to find your own Mary J" You said as you walked out of the room and back to Cloud who was standing in the door way. You two made your way to the car and drove to the arena and went back stage. It was about 5 pm and the concert didn't start till 7:30, you had plenty of time. Even if you had meet with a bunch of junkies at 6 it was still enough time. You hurried into your dressing room and got you hair pulled in many different directions as they began trying to put it in a wig.

"No, my hair stays like this," You told them firmly, even with your high disposition.

"Yes. ma'am," They replied and threw the wig to the side and began teasing your hair as your clothes came into the room. A pair of skin tight leather pants and a deep burgundy corset that had a fishnet backing. A pair of black stiletto combat boots were carried in by another lady who also held a red studded belt and chains that would be around your waist and a pair of leather fingerless, studded gloves. The people doing your hair were putting colored extensions in your hair now and you smiled at your self in the mirror. They all finally left and you got dressed in the punk attire. You looked at your self in the full length mirror and spun once before leaving the changing room.

"Kirra, Your visitors are this way," Said one of the crew members. You just nodded your head and went to the backstage meeting room. When you got there Razor was in white skinny jeans, black DC's and a Nirvana T-shirt. Chain was in black acid washed skinny jeans, white DC's and no shirt. Jagger was in regular jeans and a black Bullet for my Valentine T-shirt. On the other side of the room were people you recognized from school.

"Hey, Everyone" You said as you came in the room. You noticed the two girls who had made you mad your first day, Sakura and Ino. You looked at them and smirked. "Am I still a slut?" You asked with a glare.

"N..No" Sakura stuttered.

"Hn," Was your only comment.

"Your Kirra Ikinumari?" Kiba asked and you just nodded your head.

"But your Sasori-sensei's little sister, His last name is Sunna," Naruto spoke

"It was our mother's maiden name,"You said and then heard words that sent you into the terror that there was no turning back from this one.

"Mommy!" Rayne burst out and you looked down in shock, how could they bring him here, Why would Minato let him come? It didn't make any sense.

"Rayne that's not your mother," Sasuke said with a bored tone.

"Come here Rayne, sweetie," You said as you got on one knee and picked him up. Everyone was staring at you in awe. "Rayne Where's Uncle Mini?" You asked him with a smile.

"He let Naruto take me out for a while," Rayne said, and obviously no one knew he could talk so well.

"Hmm looks like I'm gonna have to give him a lecture," You said with a laugh and he finally noticed Jagger.

"Gir!" he exclaimed and threw his hands toward Jagger. Jagger couldn't help, but smile at the child's enthusiasm.

"Hey, Rayne sorry I didn't come and see you last week," Jagger said as he took Rayne from you. You sighed and looked back at the group of high school students.

"Yes he is my son and Naruto, Thank Minato for me, He's a good man, but I think I'll be taking Rayne home with me tonight.

"No Way, He's my little brother!" Naruto yelled.

"No Naruto, He is my son, not your mother's, Minato has been saying that so you wouldn't suspect anything, Your mother and little brother died while she was giving birth, I'm sorry, but he had to lie to you," You apologized to him. He just looked at Rayne in Jagger's arms.

"Is he the father?" Naruto asked quietly now.

"No Jagger is just a very close friend of mine and the father isn't wanted with us. He would only create more problems," You said with a sigh as you glanced at Sasuke in the back, you had finally learned that Itachi was his older brother, and you didn't want Rayne to even be around him. "Where's Cloud?" You looked at Razor, who in turn shrugged his shoulders. You pulled your phone out of your pocket and texted him quickly and soon he too piled into the room.

"Cloud Strife," You heard the two girls giggle and you turned to give him a hug.

"Cloud, uhmm," You motioned with your eyes toward Jagger. He glanced over there and you could see the smirk in his eyes.

"His room was just finished," Cloud said with a smirk and you only nodded.

"I think we need to have a meeting," Chain spoke up as he finally got over the shock.

"Yes we do," Razor agreed.

"I know," You said defeated. Razor and Chain were the first to leave the room and Jagger looked at you.

"He knows Cloud, He'll be safe." You said and followed the other two. Jagger soon followed you into another room that usually you all used right before the show to meditate.

"You have a child Kirra?" Were the first words out of Razor's mouth.

"Who's the father?" Chain asked right after. You didn't say anything.

"You told Jagger and not me, Why?" Razor asked in a hurt tone.

"Yeah because I had to tell him. I couldn't keep everything bottled up inside of me. I should have told both of you sooner, but I just couldn't,"

"Who's the father?" Razor repeated Chain's question. Once again you didn't say anything, but Jagger spoke for you.

"Itachi is the father, but we don't want him to know she has a child. It would put her and Rayne in danger," He spoke calmly, but you could hear the tremors in his voice.

"What happened between you and Itachi?" Chain asked the question Razor was thinking.

"He.. raped me about two years ago, That's why I moved, that's why Pein and Sasori is so protective of me,"

"You are going to tell Sasori now" Razor said with finality.

"I know,"

"Text him and tell him to come here now, He finally needs to know he has a nephew," Jagger said with a worry and yo only nodded as you texted your brother.

**Niisan, I have something I need to tell you. Can you come to the meeting room?**

He texted back immediately.

**Sure Imouto, should I bring Pein too?**

**Whatever you want to do Niisan**

**Be there in a sec, ily**

**i love you too niisan

* * *

**

**Plz review! I really want to know what everyone thinks!  
**


	8. Everybody's Fool

**Mkay I know it's a long chappie, but most is lyrics so enjoy! (BTW I don't own any except my lovely OCs)**

Songs:  
Chicken Huntin' - ICP  
I Fucking Hate You - Godsmack  
She's a Rebel - Greenday  
Lost Paradise - Hollywood Undead  
One Step Closer - Linkin Park  
Everybody's Fool - Evanescence

* * *

Kirra POV:

You had this knot in the pit of your stomach after you sent the last text and stood there awkwardly as you waited for the red-head to arrive. He came into the room quickly and gathered you into a hug.

"What's wrong imouto,"He asked as he let you go.

"Nii-san I think you need to know the truth, about everything that has happened in the past few years..." You hesitated before continuing. "You know about the drugs already. That tends to come with the rock-star dream, but before all of this, I had kept some thing from you," You paused for a long moment.

"What is it imouto?" Sasori asked impatiently.

"Itachi didn't only rape me Nii-san... He got me pregnant too," The words were a mere whisper, but Sasori seemed to hear the words as if it were a sonic boom and his eyes grew wide.

"Imouto, why didn't you tell me this before," He said with his head down in disappointment, he believed he had fail to be there for you. As a brother. You couldn't answer him, your voice wouldn't come to you as if someone was choking you and wouldn't let the words come out. It wasn't till tears rolled down your cheeks that you noticed you were crying.

"I'm sorry nii-san, I was scared. After everything that happened. I'm sorry." You manged in whining gasps of air.

"It's alright, Kirra" Sasori soothed as he pulled you back into his arms. He kissed your forehead softly and you smiled into his chest. "By the way. I'm gonna kill him," Sasori whispered into your ear quietly.

"No, you are not," You said in defense, thinking he meant Rayne.

"Itachi, Kirra," He said with a somber face and you only nodded knowing he didn't truly mean it.

"Nii-san do you want to meet him?" You asked in a small voice.

"Is he here?" His voice questioned and you only nodded. "Of course Kirra,"

"I'll be right back," You said and went into the other room where everyone was still crowded together. Cloud had handed Rayne to Naruto who held the boy against his hip. You walked over to his and gently took Rayne from him.

"Mommy!" Rayne's voice chimed and you only smiled.

"Do you want to meet your uncle?" You asked Rayne in a delighted tone. He nodded his head up and down and you continued to smile. You looked toward Naruto," You may want to check your phone. Your father has some explaining to do," You said and when he looked at his phone he had a long message from Minato. You smiled wider and left the room with Rayne. You made your way back to the room, but hesitated at the door.

"Sasori," Razor pointed toward the door as you came through it and Rayne was walking and holding your hand.

"There he is Rayne. Go give him a hug," You said reassuringly as you nudged Rayne toward Sasori. Rayne slowly walked over to Sasori, who picked him up and Rayne automatically wrapped his arms around Sasori's neck. Sasori's eyes widened as he hugged the child back. Slowly he smiled as the boy looked at him with large blue eyes.

"Uncle Sasa.. Saso.." Rayne was having trouble with Sasori's name as any child would.

"Uncle Sasori," He repeated to Rayne and Rayne smiled as his face turned red with embarrassment.

"Uncle Sasowi" Rayne confirmed and you smiled. Rayne looked so happy in Sasori's arms and you walked over there to glance at your small family.

"I think I'm going to have Cloud take him home. He doesn't need to be here," You said to Sasori.

"I think I want Pein to take him back. So we know he'll be safe," Sasori suggested and only laughed at the thought of Pein holding Rayne.

"Okay Nii-san whatever you think is best," You said with a giggle. Sasori handed Rayne back to you as he pulled his phone out and texted Pein. Pein soon arrived with the guarded expression that soon turned to confusion at you holding the child.

"Pein, this is Rayne," You said with a smile. "He's my child," You confirmed his questioning look. He glare was hard as he looked back at the door.

"Pein we'll talk about that later," Sasori said. Knowing that Pein was too angry for words. You smiled down at Rayne who was terrified of Pein's grotesque appearance. Pein had snake bites, three piercings going through his nose, and seven in each ear with an industrial bar in each.

"Rayne it's alright. He won't hurt you. He's mommies friend," You whispered to him and Rayne seemed to become more comfortable. There was a knock at the door and everyone became tense and fell silent.

"Sasori, Pein, yeah?" Deidara's voice rang at the door. You let out your breath and opened the door. Deidara came tumbling into the room with a bright smile on his face. "What's wrong everyone, yeah?" Deidara asked as he looked around.

"Deidara," You said and he turned to look at you and his expression became confused at Rayne.

"Is he, un?" He asked.

"Yeah, Deidara," You said as you smiled down at the child.

"I'm heading up security so I can't take him anywhere," Pein said as if reading Sasori's mind.

"Deidara?" Sasori asked and Deidara took the child from you and held him.

"He's so cute," Deidara said with a smile.

"My name is Rayne," He stated and Deidara just kinda froze. Rayne turned to look at you and you saw that his eyes were bloodshot. The Sharingan. Now everyone knew exactly what was going on.

"Deidara would you please take Rayne back to Sasori's house until the shows over. When we drop Sasori off I'll come and get him," You said as you looked to the floor.

"Sure Kirry, yeah," He said with his optimistic smile.

"Thanks Deidei-kun," You smiled. Deidara smiled at you and you kissed Rayne on the forehead before him and Deidara left the room. YOu stood in silence with the rest. A woman came into the room to tell you to be ready in 10 minutes. You went over to the mirror and looked at you make-up. It was still flawless. You tousled your hair softly in you hands and looked at everyone.

"Ready?" You asked and received nods from everyone. When your opening act left the stage the lights dulled and strobe lights flickered as you took the mic in hand.

"Let me hear everyone tonight," You yelled as you came out onto the stage. A roar erupted from the crowd and you smiled.

"Now who's going chicken huntin?" Jagger asked into his mic.

"WE's going chicken huntin," The crowd replied and Jagger strummed the guitar.

"Well, I'm heading down a southern trail;  
I'm going chicken huntin'  
Chopping redneck chicken necks  
I ain't saying nothing  
To the hillbilly stuck my barrel in his eye  
Boomshacka boomshacka hair jumps in the sky  
Why I never liked chicken pot pie?  
Or the chopped chicken on rye?  
So tell Mr. Billy Bob I'm a cut his neck up  
Slice, poke, chop chop, stab, cut  
What can you do with the drunken hillbilly  
Cut his fucking eyes out and feed em to his Aunt Milly  
Willy Willy chicken neck, chicken hunting gotta love it  
Hit him with the twelve gauge bucket, chicken nuggets  
Laid out all over the grass  
Then his little hound dog will eat em up fast  
Last as long as you can my man  
Cause when that chicken head hits the fan, you got  
Blood guts fingers and toes  
Blood guts fingers and toes  
Blood guts fingers and toes  
Sitting front row at the chicken show so..." You sang with a smile.

"Who's going chicken huntin?" You yelled and the band replied.

"We's goin' chicken huntin"

"Who's going chicken huntin?"

"We's goin' chicken huntin"

"Who's going chicken huntin?"

"We's goin' chicken huntin"

"Cut a motherfucking chicken up, right!  
Let me get a chicken sandwich with manwich  
I'm finna wreck on a chicken neck  
Chopping up Hilly and Billy Bob Billy  
Cause I chop motherfucking redneck silly  
Peeked in his yard and what did I see  
I seen a chicken boy fucking a sheep  
I say "Mister Mister, what the fuck you trying to do"

"Ah, Billy Billy Billy Boo" Jagger sang for you.

"Barrels in your mouth, bullets to your head  
The back of your neck's all over the shed  
Boomshacka boom chop chop bang  
I'm 2 Dope and it ain't no thang  
To cut a chicken, trigger's clicking  
Blow off his head but his feet still kicking  
Last as long as you can my man  
Cause when that chicken head hits the fan you got  
Blood guts fingers and toes  
Blood guts fingers and toes  
Blood guts fingers and toes  
Sitting front row at the chicken show so..." You yelled into the mic.

"Who's going chicken huntin?" You yelled and the band replied.

"We's goin' chicken huntin"

"Who's going chicken huntin?"

"We's goin' chicken huntin"

"Who's going chicken huntin?"

"We's goin' chicken huntin"

"Cut a motherfucking chicken up, right!  
Went to Kentucky, I got lucky  
Met this hog calling bitch named Bucky  
Riding on a chicken, milking a sow  
Hitting switches in a drop top low ride tractor plow" Jagger sang into the mic.

"Redneck fella, moonshine seller  
Hang him by his neckbones, chicken bones  
Locked in the cellar, yellow belly chicken plucker  
You redneck fucker!" You yelled.

"Who's going chicken huntin?" You yelled and the band replied.

"We's goin' chicken huntin"

"Who's going chicken huntin?"

"We's goin' chicken huntin"

"Who's going chicken huntin?"

"We's goin' chicken huntin" The song finally ended and you were breathing heavily.

"Thank you Konoha! Next I want all of you to know that I Fucking Hate You" The crowd ripped into a roar again and you laughed as Jagger began playing the song. You began head banging before you had to start singing.

"For everything you do  
I'd like to swallow you  
And everyday I'm gonna blame you  
Even if you justify  
Every fucking bullshit lie  
It only makes me want to break you

You pull me down  
And you crucify my name  
You make me insane I  
t's broken now  
Don't ever look my way  
Don't even think I'm playin" You found Itachi in the crowd and smirked as he scowled at you.

"Cause I fucking hate you  
You're such a liar  
And I love to hate you  
You're all the same to me

When you repeatedly  
Take advantage of me  
The only thought I get of you sickens me  
Everybody knows you're fake  
You're everything I fucking hate  
And I'm everything that you could never be

You pull me down  
And you crucify my name  
You make me insane  
It's broken now  
Don't ever look my way  
Don't even think I'm playin'

'Cause I fucking hate you  
You're such a liar  
And I love to hate you  
You're all the same to me  
I fucking hate you  
You're such a liar  
And I love to hate you

You're all the same to me (Fuck you)  
(Fuck you)  
(Fuck you)

You pull me down  
And you crucify my name  
You make me insane  
It's broken now  
Don't ever look my way  
Don't even think I'm playin'

'Cause I fucking hate you  
You're such a liar  
And I love to hate you  
You're all the same to me  
And I fucking hate you  
You're such a liar  
And I love to hate you  
You're all the same to me

Fuck you (fuck you)  
Fuck you (fuck you)  
Fuck you (fuck you)  
Fuck you (fuck you)" You finished as Jagger sang back up. The crowd roared at the stage and people were moshing in the crowd. You took the guitar from Jagger and he began to sing.

"She's a rebel  
She's a saint S  
he's salt of the earth  
And she's dangerous

She's a rebel  
Vigilante  
Missing link on the brink Of destruction

From Chicago to Toronto  
She's the one that they  
Call old whatsername

She's the symbol  
of resistance and  
she's holding on my heart  
like a hand grenade

Is she dreaming  
what I'm thinking  
Is she the mother  
of all bombs gonna detonate

Is she trouble like  
I'm trouble make it  
a double twist of fate  
or a melody that

She sings the revolution  
the dawning of our lives  
she brings this liberation  
that I just can't define  
nothing comes to mind

She sings the revolution  
the dawning of our lives  
she brings this liberation  
that I just can't define  
nothing comes to mind

She's a rebel  
She's a saint  
She's salt of the earth  
And she's dangerous

She's a rebel  
Vigilante  
Missing link on the brink Of destruction

She's a rebel  
She's a saint  
She's salt of the earth  
And she's dangerous

She's a rebel  
Vigilante  
Missing link on the brink Of destruction

She's a rebel,  
She's a rebel,  
She's a rebel,  
And she's dangerous  
She's a rebel, She's a rebel,  
She's a rebel,  
And she's dangerous" You smiled as he rose his hands into the air. You handed him the guitar again and he just winked at you.

"Now this is Kirra's Lost Paradise," He said into the mic and the crowd roared. The music played and you began to sing.

"So watch my chest heave  
as this last breath leaves me  
I am trying to be  
what you're dying to see

I feel like Fuck man,  
can't take this, anymore,  
this heart, break this.  
This is life that's so thankless,  
How could he just forsake us?

racist he makes us  
hate us he gave us  
nothing but no trust  
and I am so fucked up

So let this gun bind us  
Lets hide by this lust  
and once we are just dust  
he'll know that he loved us" You sang

"LET IT ALL BURN" You all sang

"I will burn first God Ive lied, am I lost in your eyes?  
Just let me burn, it's what I deserve.  
God of mine, am I lost in your eyes?" Jagger continued.

"So take me and make me  
weakened and save me  
this hate that you gave me  
keeps saying the same thing

to sing when you hurtin'  
to sing when you cry  
to sing when you livin'  
to sing when you die

and here at the end  
at the end of the hurt  
all the pain ain't the same  
when it's your turn to burn  
We're the heart for the heartless,  
the thoughts for the thoughtless,  
the means for the end,  
we're the gods of the deadless!

Let it all burn I will burn first"

"God ive lied, am I lost in your eyes?  
Just let me burn It's what I deserve  
God ive lied, am I lost in your eyes?" Jagger continued.

"So cry 3 tears for me,  
burning so good,  
sing me this song

So cry 3 tears for me,  
burning so good,  
burning so good

I can not stand who i am  
I'm this man with this blood on my hands  
in this blood I am damned  
so watch my wings burn  
as they burn in the fire  
I'll scatter the ashes  
now sing for the choir

Let it all burn,  
I will burn first"

"God of time, am I lost in your eyes?"  
Just let me burn it's what I deserve,  
"God of mine, am I lost in your eyes?" Jagger continued.

"This hate that you gave  
me keeps saying  
Just let me burn,  
Just let me burn

This hate that you gave me  
keeps saying  
Just let me burn,  
Just let me burn

Burn NOW Burn

Just let me burn NOW Burn

BURN!" You screamed out and the crowd was silent for a moment then became louder than ever.

"F.L.F...F.L.F..." They chanted and you smiled.

"Okay, Okay One step Closer," You said with a smile.

The music began to play again and you smiled.  
"I cannot take this anymore  
Saying everything  
I've said before  
All these words  
they make no sense  
I find bliss in ignorance  
Less I hear the less you'll say  
You'll find that out anyway

Just like before...

Everything you say to me  
Takes me one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break  
I need a little room to breathe  
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge  
I'm about to break

I find the answers aren't so clear  
Wish I could find a way to disappear  
All these thoughts they make no sense  
I find bliss in ignorance  
Nothing seems to go away  
Over and over again

Just like before...

Everything you say to me  
Takes me one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break  
I need a little room to breathe  
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge  
I'm about to break

Everything you say to me  
Takes me one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break  
I need a little room to breathe  
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break

Shut up when I'm talking to you  
Shut up,  
shut up,  
shut up  
Shut up when I'm talking to you  
Shut up,  
shut up,  
shut up,  
shut up

I'm about to BREAK

Everything you say to me  
Takes me one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break  
I need a little room to breathe  
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge  
I'm about to break

Everything you say to me  
Takes me one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break  
I need a little room to breathe  
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break" You sang and bowed to the crowd as they screamed wanting more.

"Okay but this is our last song, because I'm not Everybody's Fool" You said with a smile. This was a song you had written about Itachi. "And I want to say thank you to my inspiration for this song. Everyone let's hear it for Itachi Uchiha!" You smirked as his face turned red with anger. Your finger was outstretched toward him and everyone's gaze was on him.

"Perfect by nature  
icons of self indulgence  
just what we all need  
more lies about a world that

never was and never will be  
have you no shame  
don't you see me  
you know you've got everybody fooled

look here she comes now  
bow down and stare in wonder  
oh how we love you  
no flaws when you're pretending  
but now i know she

never was and never will be  
you don't know how you've betrayed me  
and somehow you've got everybody fooled

without the mask  
where will you hide  
can't find yourself lost in your lie

i know the truth now  
i know who you are  
and i don't love you anymore

it never was and never will be  
you don't know how you've betrayed me  
and somehow you've got everybody fooled

it never was and never will be  
you're not real and you can't save me  
somehow now you're everybody's fool" You sang out and saw that Itachi was gone from his place. You smiled out at the crowd and waved as you pulled a cigarette out of you pocket and lit it. You exited the stage and hurried to leave. You didn't want to be caught by a bunch of fans. You got into your car and onto the freeway before the traffic began. You arrived at Sasori's house and Deidara was sitting on the couch with Rayne in his lap. Rayne jumped out of Deidara's lap and into your arms.

"Hey sweetie are you ready to go home?" You asked and Deidara just smiled at you.

"Mommy, I love you" He exclaimed.

"I love you too Rayne," You said as you kissed the top of his head. The door to Sasori's house burst open with fury. The raging Uchiha stormed in and Deidara jumped to his feet. Itachi was pointing his finger at you and yelling streams of profanity.

"You fucking whore. I can't believe you would think you could get away from me, I will fucking..." He trailed off when he saw Rayne in your arms. He stared down at the child and he extended his arm to touch Rayne when you jerked the child away.

"No Itachi, You will not see him," You said venomously.

"He is my child, He is an Uchiha," he said in disbelief.

"No Itachi, He is my child and fathered through rape and deceit," You spat in his face. Itachi just looked up at you and it was a strange look you remember from a long time ago. "Itachi you will not come near me or my child ever again," You said as you looked down at Rayne who was staring at Itachi with a weird look.

"Hey there, I'm your father," Itachi cooed the child and you covered Rayne's ears.

"Don't listen to him Rayne. He's a bad man. He hurt mommy," You whispered in the child's ear and he scowled at Itachi.

"Now you turn my son against me too. What more do you want from me Kirra. You've taken my friends, my little brother is sure to hate me because of you and now my son. Damn" You heard him rant and you glared at him. You handed Rayne to Deidara now.

"You want to know something Itachi, You did all of this to yourself. You raped me, you got me pregnant and you are the person who made all the wrong decisions," You screamed in his face. He took a step back and let your words sink in.

"Well Kira I'm sorry, but I always loved you," He murmured to you.

"Bullshit," You spat through his lies. His eyes had a flash of pain and sorrow, but you turned and took Rayne in your arms again. "C'mon Rayne. We're going home," You said as you stalked past Itachi without another glance.

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**Please Review!**  
**Hope you liked it**  
**:]]]]]**


	9. A Lullaby For A Stormy Night

**Good chapter this time :]] Hope you all like :]]**

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Kirra POV:

Rayne was a sleep in the backseat when you pulled into the drive-way. He was curled up in a ball with his thumb in his mouth. You picked Rayne up out of the backseat and climbed the Stairs to the front door with ease. The door unlocked with a flick of your wrist and you walked in as you kicked the door closed behind you. You layed Rayne down on one of the large black leather couches that were seated in the living room. You draped a blanket from the top over him as he began to stir then fell back asleep. You smiled and went into the kitchen for some coffee. You poured milk and sugar into the black liquid inside the mug turning it a mocha. You drank peacefully as you leaned against the counter. The door bell rang and you answered ti to find Pein standing there.

"Hey c'mon in" You said and opened up the door. He walked passed you without a word and you could tell he was angry. It radiated off him like heat on the road.

"Why didn't you tell us before, Kirra?" He asked as he sat down.

"Pein, please don't lecture me about what i should and shouldn't have done. It's-" You were cut off by Pein.

"It's what Kirra, not my problem. Kirra your like my sister, just like you are to everyone else. Your the only thing that has stopped everyone from killing Itachi already, and if he finds out about Rayne then were going to have some kind of law suit on our hand," Pein said and you sighed.

"He already knows. He came storming in to Sasori's place while I was picking Rayne up and he figured it out," You said as your hand came to your temple. You heard Pein curse under his breath and leaned into the couch. Pein soon left and you fell asleep on the couch. You awoke to Rayne nudging you on the couch.

"Huh?" You said as you awoke to the pouty face of the two year old.

"Mommy! I'm hungry," Rayne said as he nudged you again.

"Okay sweetheart, What do you want for breakfast,"

"Cereal," He replied.

"What kind?" You asked.

"Cookie Crisps," He replied again. YOu nodded and he followed you to the kitchen. You pulled the cereal out of the cupboard and made him a bowl and you put on some coffee for yourself. Rayne sat at the small table in front of the bay window and you stood by the counter.

"I promised u i would take you out for ice cream didn't I?" You asked the small child and he smiled as he took another bite of cereal.

"Yeah, you did, Mommy," He smiled at you.

"Okay well later we'll go shopping for you some new toys then we'll go get Ice cream. Does that sound alright?" YOu asked him and he nodded. Rayne finished eating and began watching cartoons for a little while and you called over Gaara to watch him while you got dressed. You ran up stairs and jumped in the shower quickly before throwing on a pair of black baggy pants and a blue tank top with a large black jacket. You pulled a beanie on and a pair of Ray Ban sun glasses. You hurried down the stairs and Gaara had Rayne sitting in his lap. When you walked into the room Gaara was smiling down at the toddler.

"Awe," You said with a smile. Gaara turned to look at you with a glare.

"I swear if you ever tell Temari.." He left his sentence unfinished so that you could come to your own conclusion.

"I know, I know you'll skin me alive in your dungeon of terrors," You said as you rolled your eyes. You plucked Rayne from Gaara's lap and smiled. "Are you going to stay here or do you need a ride home?" You asked and he chose the latter of the two. Cloud had loaned you his Hummer H1. It was white on the outside and black on the inside. You strapped Rayne in and Gaara jumped into the passenger seat. You pulled the Hummer out and sped down the road. You soon pulled up to Gaara's house and let him out. "Thanks Gaara," You said before he exited the vehicle.

"For what?"

"Just being there. You've always been like a brother to me," You told him with a smile.

FF3 Hours Later

You and Rayne sat in an ice cream shop in the mall as he cheerfully snacked on cookies and cream ice cream. YOu smiled as you watched him. He seemed so happy and carefree, but that was because to him there were no problems in life. The biggest worry he had ever had was missing his favorite TV show. Pokemon. You thought to yourself and smiled. You had picked him up tons of clothes and even more toys for him to play with. People bustled out in the mall and you sighed, only hoping they wouldn't recognize you.

"Kirra?" You heard someone say and you sighed, but didn't turn. When the person was standing beside you you looked to see that it was Naruto.

"Oh, hey Naruto," You said with a smile.

"Hey," He replied and looked down sheepishly.

"Sit down if you want," YOu said as you slid over to make room for him. He took the seat and you looked at him.

"So you weren't lying," Naruto said.

"No and I'm sorry Minato had to lie to you, but it was the only way that I could keep him safe," YOu told him.

"Keep him safe from what?" Naruto asked as he looked at you. 'So he didn't elaborate,' you thought.

"The father," You said truthfully and Naruto only nodded, not caring about who it was.

"Bad argument or a custody battle?" Naruto asked.

"Something like that," You told him as you looked at Rayne from across the table. He looked up at you and smiled, you returned the smile and for once felt happy. All that had happened since you moved there fell away and for that moment there was a state of bliss that you had never gotten with drugs. It was pure happiness.

"You seem happy," Naruto said and smirked.

"You should be too. You're sitting next to your idle here," YOu smiled.

"He told you about that did he?" Naruto asked.

"Yeah," YOu said and smiled more.

"Mommy?" Rayne said from across the table.

"Yeah, Baby?" YOu asked as you looked over at him. Rayne was biting his lip as he looked out the window.

"When will I have friends?" He asked as he looked down.

"Whenever you ever you go and make some sweety, Why?" You asked him.

"Because I don't have any friends," He said as he looked back down at his ice cream.

"Do you want to go to daycare, so you can meet people, Rayne?" You asked him and his eyes lit up.

"Yeah," He said with a smile.

"Okay, I'll find somewhere, I promise," So far you had been good to your promises to him, but it always too awhile. You smiled down at the child and he finished his ice cream.

"What's his father like?" Naruto asked.

"He's not so cool with having a kid," You said even though you knew Itachi would kill to get a hold of Rayne.

"Who's the father?" He asked.

"Uh.." You seemed to not know what to say, "Naruto, I want to tell you something that you can't tell anyone or I swear your father will disown you, Okay?" You asked.

"Yeah sure whatever," He said.

"Sasuke's brother is the father," You said in a hushed voice.

"Itachi? How?" He questioned.

"I'm really close to the Akatsuki. As you know my brother is Sasori. Well we dated, and shit happened," You told him, while not completely lying.

"Then why hide Rayne form Itachi?"

"His father hated me and I'm so scared of what he would do to Rayne. I wouldn't be able to handle it if anything happened to him," You told him truthfully. Fungaku had hated you with a passion, and you knew if he found out about Rayne, then all hell would break loose. Itachi would probably tell him of his child anyways. You sighed as you everything actually came to the field.

"I'm sor-" Naruto couldn't finish.

"No, Naruto. I don't need pity. I'll never need pity. It doesn't help," You told him as you looked down at Rayne.

"Okay," came his mumbled reply.

"Come by the house sometime. You and your friends. It'll be fun," You told him with a smile.

"I will," He said.

"Ready to go home, sweetheart?" You asked Rayne and he yawned as he nodded his head. You smiled and Naruto got up and you picked Rayne up into your arms. Rayne layed his head on your shoulder and lulled to sleep. You picked up a few bags in your free hand and smiled at Naruto. You walked out to the car and put Rayne in his car-seat. You pulled out a new teddy bear for him to cuddle up to and he was sound asleep. You jumped in the front seat and pulled out of your space. Rain began to pound on the windshield and Rayne stirred in his seat.

"Little child,  
be not afraid  
The rain pounds harsh against the glass  
Like an unwanted stranger  
There is no danger  
I am here tonight

Little child  
Be not afraid  
Though thunder explodes  
And lightning flash  
Illuminates  
your tear stained face  
I am here tonight

And someday you'll know  
That nature is so  
This same rain that draws you near me  
Falls on rivers and land  
And forests and sand  
Makes the beautiful world  
that you see  
In the morning

Little child  
Be not afraid  
The storm clouds mask your beloved moon  
And its candlelight beams  
Still keep pleasant dreams  
I am here tonight

Little child  
Be not afraid  
The wind makes creatures of our trees  
And the branches to hands  
They're not real, understand  
And I am here tonight

And someday you'll know  
That nature is so  
This same rain that draws you near me  
Falls on rivers and land  
And forest and sand  
Makes the beautiful world that you see  
In the morning

For you know, once even  
I Was a little child  
And I was afraid  
But a gentle someone always came  
To dry all my tears  
Trade sweet sleep the fears  
And to give a kiss goodnight

Well, now I am grown  
And these years have shown  
Rain's a part of how life goes  
But it's dark and it's late  
So I'll hold you and wait  
'til your frightened eyes do close

And I hope that you'll know  
That nature is so  
This same rain that draws you near me  
Falls on rivers and land  
And forests and sand  
Makes the beautiful world that you see  
In the morning

Everything's fine in the morning  
The rain will be gone in the morning  
But I'll still be here in the morning" YOu continued to drive as you sang the lullaby to him. You caught a glance back when you quit singing and he was sound asleep. You were pulling into the garage now and you jumped out to get Rayne.

When you put him in his crib you could only smile at his innocence. He was so fragile compared to all your friends. Thinking of Pein as a child only made you want to laugh. He had probably pulled little girl's hair and kicked puppies. Well maybe not kicked puppies, but he was probably a problem child. You smiled and thought you would take a nap. You layed down in your bed and fell asleep.

_~Dream~_

_You were in you living room and Rayne was in the floor with some of his new toys. The TV was on some boring channel. Arms wrapped around you and you looked to see Zack next to you. YOu smiled at him and he kissed your forehead._

_"Daddy can we go to the park later?" Rayne asked Zack and you smiled down at the child._

_"Sure Rayne, whatever you want," Zack told the kid with his signature smile. He looked down at you with his cerulean eyes._

_"I love you," You said as you kissed his pink lips._

_"I love you too," He replied and you continued to smile. He was just as you remembered. Happy and bright. His black spike atop his head were wild and his body was well toned. He had obviously been training._

_"Your perfect, you know that?" Zack said as he tightened his grip on you. Your smiled beamed as you closed your eyes. Zack's forehead was pushed against yours and when you opened you eyes it looked as if he was crying. Not tears, but blood. Crimson liquid was seeming from under his eyelids and from the corners of his mouth._

_"Zack, No. Please don't leave me," You whispered breathlessly. He was smiled as he opened his eyes. They weren't the bright blue they were moments before. They had turned the scarlet color of his blood._

_"I'm not going anywhere Kirra. I'll always be right here," He said as he poked your chest. You began crying as his body weight leaned on you._

_"I'll always love you Kirra," He told you with his last breathe._

_"Noo, Zack No please.." You begged._

_~End Dream~_

"No," It was only a whisper on your lips as you sat up in your bed. You hadn't been asleep any longer than an hour. You wiped you tears streamed cheeks and stood up.

"Zack," His name was breathless on your lips as you looked out the window. It was almost dark out. You sighed and went to check on Rayne. He was still asleep in his crib. YOu came down the stairs and made you a bowl of cereal. The dream was still replaying in your mind. He had looked perfect. You shook your head to rid yourself of the thoughts.

"He's dead" You reminded yourself.

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**Heh. Mkay please Review and Favorite, because there will be more to come :]]**


	10. Perfect

Mkay everyone's going to want to hit me with bricks and grenades so I'm ready. *Gets behind military-style fort and puts metal pasta strainer on head*

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Kirra's POV

You wanted to sing so bad, but there were no songs to explain the way you were feeling. You grabbed a pad of paper and began writing. The lyrics seemed to pour out of you as you wanted to be near Zack again. After the page was half-full you took a look at the words. You just wanted him to know everything that he hadn't before he died.

"Time passes by so quickly  
But I guess I thought you'd be here forever  
I never even had a chance  
To say goodbye  
There's so many things to tell you  
Left unsaid until now

Can you hear me when I talk to you?  
Do the words I say ever make it through?  
Can you hear me when I talk to you?  
'Cause I'd give anything if I knew" It was only a small portion, but you knew you'd write more later. You closed the book and set it down.

**I had a dream** You texted Cloud.

**What was it about**

**Zack**

**Do you want me to come over?**

**Ill be fine, but you can if you want to**

**Be there soon Kirry**

**Mkay Cloudy**

You smiled at the thought of Cloud coming over. In your dream Rayne had called Zack "Daddy!" You laughed at it and shook it away. Time passed and you sat on the couch as you flipped through the channels. The front door opened and Cloud walked in. Water dotted his jacket in places.

"Hey," He said as he sat beside you.

"Hey," You smiled at him.

"Are you feeling alright?" He asked.

"Yeah. I'm fine. Just a little scared. I hate how this house is so huge and I can't see Rayne all the time," You told him worriedly.

"He's fine. You have a top of the line security system, you know," He smiled down at you. Cloud was so tall, he made you seem like a midget.

"You know, Rayne wants to go to daycare. So he can make friends. I want to get him a dog, he can be like his best friend," You told Cloud.

"Get one that's already been trained," He said and you smirked.

"I'll be sure to," You told him.

"If you want to find a good day care. I know where to go," Cloud said.

"Really?" You asked him.

"I'll pay for it, It's really nice and safe, It's where me and Zack went when we were little," He said and you smiled.

"Yeah, We'll go check it out tomorrow," You smiled at him brightly.

"Yeah. You wouldn't care if I stayed here tonight. Would you?"

"Of course not Cloud. You're always welcome here," You told him. He smiled at you and You leaned your head on his shoulder.

"Thanks Kirra,"

"Your welcome Cloud." There was a pause for a moment before Cloud looked down at you. His eyes showing how much he missed Zack. He blinked and the pain was gone, replaced by something else. His face closed in on yours as he looked into your eyes. His lips caught yours in a sweet kiss. His hand cupped your cheek softly. He pulled away quickly after that.

"Kirra, I- uh.I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that," He rambled as he looked away. His face was turning cherry red and you smiled.

"I didn't know you felt that way," You whispered breathlessly. You took his hand in yours. "Your all I have left, Cloud. I know you won't hurt me," You told him with a smile. You knew you two wouldn't be in a real relationship. He wasn't one for that. You would settle for friends with benefits, if that was all he wanted. You didn't want to bring anyone knew into your life though. You wanted someone you could share old memories with. Cloud was just that. You two had known each other forever. He turned and smiled as his cheeks began to cool. You leaned over to him and kissed him on the cheek. He looked down at you and smiled.

"Zack made me promise to make you happy," He told you.

"Well you have been Cloud," you looked down at the floor and said, "You always have," You didn't want to know what he'd say. If it was something like, well your not the girlfriend type or I don't want to ruin the friendship or anything else of that nature.

"It's good to know I've been keeping my promise then," His fingers brushed some stray locks of hair out of your face. He tucked the hair behind your ear and his finger lingered there on your skin for only a moment before he pulled away. His skin had been warm against you cool face. You closed your eyes and fought the urge to lean into him. You wanted more of that touch. Sure it seemed stupid, but it was the truth. You had never thought of Cloud as anything more than a friend. Sure he was majorly hot, but you had never really cared. Girls would swoon over your best friend, but you never noticed how good looking he actually was. His blond hair was a mess on top of his head, with blond spikes creeping up everywhere. His blue eyes were looking down at you and you blushed slightly as your gaze kept moving. His pale lips went red in places where he had pulled his bottom lip between his teeth. His skin was perfectly flawless. His shoulders were muscular and his arms were defined. His abs were toned to a perfect eight pack. You had to fight back the urge to lick your lips as you finally looked at him. He was beautiful. Cloud noticed your gaze and took your face in between his hands.

"Cloud." You began, but didn't finish as Cloud's lips crashed into yours. There was a fiery passion to the sweet sensation as Cloud licked your lips. YOu opened your mouth and his tongue moved expertly in your mouth. He tasted like cherries and you knew he had ice cream before he came over. He always saves the cherry for last. You smiled into the kiss as you wrapped your arms around his neck. Cloud pulled you into your lap and you were straddling his hips. His arms encircled your waist as you two continued to kiss. When your lungs were screaming for air and your heart was pounding in your chest Cloud pulled away. You hadn't wanted the kiss to stop,but he was breathing hard. You cradled his face to your chest and he lightly kissed the area there.

"I've always loved you Kirra," He said the words you wanted to hear. "Ever since we were little. You had always had your eye on Zack though, and I feel bad for saying this, but now that he's gone. I can show you how I feel." Cloud kissed your neck again and you fought back a moan that threatened to escape your lips. He continued to kiss until it turned into soft nipping, then you couldn't hold back anymore. You let out a soft whimper and Cloud smirked against your skin. YOu continued this soft whimper until Cloud stopped.

"Cloud.." The breathless moan escaped you mouth before you could stop it.

"Yes Kirra," His velvety voice came in your ear. A growl emitted from your throat as you leaned down to his ear. You bit at the top of it and you heard him moan in his throat. You kissed behind his ear until you got to his neck, and you began to nip as he did. You bit his jugular in attempt to tease him and he moaned out. Cloud lifted a hand to the back of your neck and forced your lips to his. You broke the kiss to lay your head on his shoulder. Your arms were still around his neck.

"I love you, Cloud," You told him breathlessly. You felt him tense under you and you looked into his eyes. "I do Cloud, I love you. You've given me so much. I'll never know how to repay you," YOu told him as you held his face in your small hands. You kissed his forehead gently, and you looked down at him with thoughtful eyes.

"Kirra. I don't expect you to want to be with me yet, and I'll give you time. I just want you to know that I'm yours," He said as his hands stroked you sides.

"Cloud, I do want to be with you," You told him in a whisper. His eyes became wide then closed in acceptance.

"Thank you Kira," He held you tightly to him and you kissed his neck again. You two stayed like that for a long moment. Just wanting to be with each other. You gently pushed Cloud to where he was laying on the couch and you settled beside him. One leg was on top of his and his arms were holding you close. You head was in the crook of his neck as you breathed in his scent. 'He is mine,' You thought. It was hard that after all these years of watching you with Zack, his love for you had never faded. Only grew, until he envied Zack so much. You looked up at the now sleeping blond and smiled. He had loved you for so long and now, he got what he deserved.

YOu moved slightly as you tried o fall back asleep, but couch was only meant for one person. You climbed over Cloud making sure not to wake him, and climbed up the stairs to your room. You climbed into the bed and fell asleep on top of the covers.

Cloud's POV

You woke to the sun in your eyes and grumbled as you stood. Your dreams had been amazing, but they were only dreams. Kirra had actually felt the same way in that dream and it was nice, but once again it was only a dream. She came bounding down the stairs in only boy shorts and a tank top. Rayne was on her hip.

"We'll make some pancakes then," She smiled at the toddler. She was such a good mother to her child.

"Yeah," Rayne said hungrily.

"You gonna help us Cloud?" She asked as she waited for your reply.

"Yeah," Your voice was hoarse from your dreams and she smiled at you and walked into the kitchen. You noticed small marks on her neck as she passed. Maybe they weren't dreams. She sat Rayne down at the table and walked over to the cabinet. She pulled out some Bisquick, eggs milk and everything else. She looked back over at you and blushed slightly.

"Will you quit staring at me and help," She grumbled and she began mixing the ingredients.

"What do you want me to do?" You asked.

"Get the skillet and put some butter in it, then put it on the stove," She said and you did what she wanted. You bit your lip as you turned back around.

"Okay," You said and she was about done with the mix. She had a little on her finger and she looked back at you before she licked it off. She giggled and walked toward the stove with the batter in hand.

"Thanks for a goodnight, last night," She said as she raised herself up to place small kisses on you lips. 'So I wasn't dreaming,' You thought with happiness. She was yours now and you were hers. You placed your hands on her hips as she poured the batter into the skillet. She bit her lip as you leaned down to kiss her exposed neck line.

"You welcome, Kirra. I'm happy I could be of service to you," You whispered in her ear before you bit it lightly. A shudder of pleasure passed over her and she turned to look at you. She smiled before placing another kiss on your lips.

She finished the pancakes soon and gave you and Rayne some before she made herself a cup of coffee.

"Your not eating?" You asked her and she shook her head.

"I'm not hungry. I'll be fine Cloud," She smiled at you as she drank from her steaming cup. She closed her eyes as she swallowed. You found yourself closing your eyes as well. She was perfect. The curves of her body were just right. Her midnight hair was tied back carelessly in a pony-tail and her bright blue eyes were like the deep pools of the ocean.

Kirra POV:

You were drinking your coffee when you could feel Cloud staring at you again, but why did he need to stare you were his..uh.. girlfriend, right? You opened your eyes again and looked at Cloud.

"He Cloud come here for just a sec," You said as you stepped out of the room. He followed you into the living room where he pulled you into a hug.

"What is it Kirra?" He asked with a smile.

"I think we should keep this between you and me for now. I wouldn't want Razor and Chain to flip out again. They would totally shit bricks if they knew we were. Well you know," YOu said as you motioned between you two dumbly.

"Together," He finished for you.

"Yeah, Together," You repeated with assurance. You placed your head on his chest and breathed in his scent again. He was perfect.

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**Mkay I know a bunch of people are probably hating me right now. especially my beta(HugsandBugsSmileyface), but i like this and I promise Erin. I have a plan. **


	11. Here Without You

**Okay since it's Turkey Day I thought I'd give everyone a wonderfully long chapter.**

**Here Without You - 3 doors down**

**Innocence - Avril Lavigne**

**Firework - Katy Perry**

**Can you hear me when I talk to you? - Ashley Gearing**

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Kirra POV:

Two weeks had passed since you and Cloud had first gotten together. You two were curled up on the couch as Rayne lay asleep in the oversize chair with a teddy bear in his arms. You looked up at Cloud and smiled as you kissed his neck lightly. A low growl emitted from his throat and you growled your own growl back at him. He smiled down at you, and a knock echoed through the room. You both quickly sat up and you ran your fingers through our hair. Your sweat pants had raised up around your knee and you straightened it out as you stumbled tot he door. Pein stood on the porch and you smiled at him.

"Hey Pein, what's up?" You asked as he stepped inside.

"Just checking in on you, Kirra. Wanted to make sure you guys are alright," He told you truthfully.

"You worry too much Pein," You told him as you walked into the living room and stood.

"No I don't. I know Itachi. He's planning something," Pein looked around.

"Well then you can find out what it is can't you?" You were questioning his power with a smirk.

"Of course Kirra. Let me pull me my all seeing crystal ball out of my ass and see," He said sarcastically. You smiled and shook your head at him.

"Hows Niisan doing?" You asked him.

"Trying not to absolutely annihilate Itachi,"

"I don't blame him," Cloud said from the couch and you wanted to slap him for being so open about his feelings.

"Me neither," Pein agreed as he looked down at you.

"All of you worry too much," You grumbled from where you stood. You turned the TV off while flipping on the radio. Rayne who had been happily asleep crawled into he floor and busied himself with his toys. You sat down where he had been happily.

"A hundred days had made me older  
since the last time that I've saw your pretty face

A thousand lights had made me colder  
and I don t think I can look at this the same

But all the miles had separate  
They disappear now when  
I m dreaming of your face

I m here without you baby  
but your still on my lonely mind  
I think about you baby  
and I dream about you all the time  
I m here without you baby  
but your still with me in my dreams  
And tonight it s only you and me

The miles just keep rollin as the people either way to say hello  
I've heard this life is overrated but I hope that it gets better as we go

I m here without you baby  
but your still on my lonely mind  
I think about you baby and  
I dream about you all the time  
I m here without you baby  
but your still with me in my dreams  
And tonight girl it s only you and me

Everything I know,  
and anywhere I go it gets hard  
but it won t take away my love  
And when the last one falls,  
when it s all said and done it get hard  
but it won t take away my love

I m here without you baby  
but your still on my lonely mind  
I think about you baby and  
I dream about you all the time  
I m here without you baby  
but your still with me in my dreams  
And tonight girl it s only you and me" You sang along with the music as you smiled. You finally remember the scrawled notes you had made before Cloud had come over two weeks ago, but despite your longing, you smiled.

"You sure your alright?" Pein asked once more.

"Ask me again and I will throw you out," You said sarcastically.

"Fine fine. Whatever, Kirry," He said as he placed a hand on top of your head. You looked up at him.

"I'm gonna dye my hair back to its natural color. I miss all the red," You told him with a sigh and he only nodded.

"I miss the red too," He said as her plucked a black lock from your shoulder and twirled it between his fingers.

"Mommy, Mommy!" Rayne called you and you looked over to see his favorite toy was lying on the ground broken.

"I'm sorry, just find another toy. You have plenty," You said and he nodded and began climbing the stairs to his room. You watched him as long as you could before your view was blocked by the wall.

"He's growing up so fast," Pein told you and you nodded as you rubbed your neck.

"I know. I feel old," You laughed.

"Your not though," Pein told you and you nodded.

"I know, but I'm always going to feel old now," You told him.

"And I'm older than you Kirry so how is that suppose to make me feel?" Pein ruffled your hair again and you looked up at him. You heard Rayne at the top of the stairs you stood and ran up to him. Not wanting him to fall. YOu placed him at the last stair and he climbed down that one and smiled at you. He went back over to his spot in the floor and began playing silently again.

"Well I'm gonna go. Konan is meeting me for dinner so I better hurry," He told you and you smiled at him.

"Mkay. Stop by later if you want," You told him as he walked to the door.

"I will," He said as he exited the house. Once he was in the driveway you flipped the lock on the door and went to sit by Cloud again.

"I thought he was never going to leave," Cloud said as he put his arm around you once more.

"I know, but he's just worried," You told him and he nodded.

"Well he shouldn't be. I'm here with you two and I'm sure as hell not going to let anything hurt either of you," He told you as you snuggled into his chest. You smiled and kissed his neck. He looked down at you and smiled. "There are children in the room. Kirra, control yourself. I know I'm amazingly good looking and all, but you should have some restraint," He told you sarcastically. You hit him in the chest painfully and he caught your hand before you could hit him again. You had a shocked look on your face at his speed.

"You've been training with SOLDIER, haven't you?" You asked him and he only nodded.

"Yeah," He said and silence fell between the two of you for a moment. You looked at his eyes and finally noticed what was different. The color had deepened to the soft glow that used to grace Zack's eyes. You placed your hand on his cheek softly and rubbed the faint circles under his eyes.

"You've already had your infusions, haven't you?" You asked him.

"Only two," He said as he placed his hand over yours. You closed your eyes and nodded.

"They remind me of his, you know," You said as you opened your eyes again. He only sighed and nodded.

"Mommy, I'm hungry," The toddler complained from in the floor.

"Well what do you want to eat?" You asked him with a smile.

"Um... Ramen," He replied and you smiled.

"Okay sweety," You said and walked into the kitchen. The toddler followed you impatiently as he waited. You put him in his chair at the table and he sat there for a few minutes before you placed the ramen in front of him. "It's hot Rayne, so let it cool, before you start eating it," You told him.

"Okay, Mommy," He replied sweetly and you went back into the living room. You resumed your place beside Cloud and placed you head on his shoulder.

"He'd be proud of you, Cloud," You told him. He could only nod, not trusting his voice. You looked back up at him and smiled. You rubbed his cheek softly and placed a small kiss upon his lips. He smiled while wrapping his arms around you tightly. You wanted to make Cloud feel better so you found yourself singing to him softly.

"There's nothing I could say to you  
Nothing I could ever do  
To make you see  
What you mean to me

All the pain, the tears I've cried  
Still you never said goodbye  
And now I know How far you'd go" You looked into his eyes and smiled.

"I know I let you down  
But it's not like that now  
This time I'll never let you go

I will be All that you want  
And get myself together  
'Cos you keep me from falling apart  
All my life I'll be with you forever  
To get you through the day  
And make everything ok" You found him holding his breathe and you kissed him on the cheek.

I thought that I had everything  
I didn't know what life could bring  
But now I see  
Honestly

You're the one thing I got right  
The only one I let inside  
Now I can breathe  
'Cos you're here with me

And if I let you down  
I'll turn it all around  
'Cos I would never let you go

I will be  
All that you want  
And get myself together  
'Cos you keep me from falling apart  
All my life I'll be with you forever  
To get you through the day  
And make everything ok"

"Kirra," His words were a mere whisper, but you looked into his eyes.

"'Cos without you I can't sleep  
I'm not gonna ever ever let you leave  
You're all I got  
You're all I want  
Yeah  
And Without you  
I don't know what I'd do  
I could never ever live a day without you  
Here With me  
Do you see  
You're all i need

And I will be  
All that you want  
And get myself together  
'Cos you keep me from falling apart  
All my life, my life  
I'll be with you forever  
To get you through the day  
And make everything ok

I will be, I'll be  
All that you want  
And get myself together  
'Cos you keep me from falling apart  
And all my life You know  
I'll be with you forever  
To get you through the day  
And make everything ok" You repeated the last lines and Cloud was still holding his breathe. You looked into his eyes and nodded your head and he let out a shaking breathe.

"You wrote that about Zack, Kirra," He told you.

"It's for you now, Cloud" You told him as you took his face in your hands. He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth and you kiss his lips. Despite better judgment, Cloud kissed you back. Accepting everything you had said. You continued to kiss until the two of you were laying on the couch in a passionate embrace. Your legs were intertwined with Cloud's as he held you firmly to him.

"I love you Kirra,"

"I love you too, Cloud," You told him breathlessly. He could always do that to you, even with a light touch or a soft kiss. He had complete control of you. You smiled into his chest as you took in his scent again. The overwhelming scent of lavender flooded you. It was unlike Zack, who always smelled of vanilla, but it was still welcoming.

"When are you going back to the studio?" Cloud asked out of no where.

"I don't know, me and the guys would have to get together and talk about this new album," You said with a sigh.

"I'm sorry Kirra, but you can't put your career on hold for Zack. Your fans won't wait," Cloud said and you nodded your head.

"I know, and I'm gonna let my writing skills take over tonight. You know, come up with some more material. Then, I'll talk to the guys," You told him and he nodded.

"Do you want me to leave tonight, then?" He asked and you shook your head.

"I'll write while you're asleep," You told him and he nodded.

Darkness fell soon after that and you put Rayne to sleep. You had to sing to him, before his eyes fell closed. You creeped out of his room and down stairs where Cloud was. You didn't bother sitting next to him just sat on his lap. He embraced you with a smile and kissed your neck.

"It's a state of bliss, you think you're dreaming It's the happiness inside that you're feeling" You sang a line to him as he smiled into your neck. He obviously loved your singing, or he wouldn't smile every time you sang anything.

"I like it, It has a good ring to it," He smiled at you.

"I hope so, If we don't get a single out soon people are going to be pissed," You smiled at him. After an hour of just talking and kissing you two made your way up stairs and you crawled into bed beside the blond. You grabbed you notebook and began writing verses as he lay beside you drifting into darkness. You had dotted three pages full of tiny verses and tunes, that would eventually become songs. You thought about Rayne and turned to another page. The lyrics seemed to come from somewhere unknown as you wrote the song down, the tune in your head matching it perfectly. You picked out other verses that had found there way into your brain and crossed them off when you used them in a song. You thought about Cloud and did the same process. You looked over everything, only making small changes and read over the songs you had produced. You sang them in your head, not wanting to wake Cloud. You placed the notebook down soon after and curled up with your boyfriend. You took in his scent again as you fell into unconsciousness.

_~Dream~_

_You were laying on your couch holding Rayne, when someone came bounding down the stairs. You expected it to be Cloud, and smiled. Onyx hair cover their head though and it was Zack. He place a hand on your forehead._

_"You feeling alright, you look sick," He said as he studied you._

_"I'm fine, Baby, Promise," You told him with a smile._

_"Okay, well I'm making pancakes. You want some?" He asked with his signature smile._

_"Yeah, I'll have two," You said and Rayne's head popped up._

_"Me too," His smiled beamed. Zack looked down at him with a disgruntled look._

_"I wasn't asking you shorty," He was playing and Rayne's face turned into a frown._

_"I'm just kidding buddy," He said as he ruffled Rayne's hair. He looked down at you and softly kissed your lips. They were warm and soft as they had always been. His scent flooded you and you smiled up at the dark haired boy. His mako induced eyes looked down at you with their soft glow._

_"I love you," You said before he disappeared into the kitchen._

_"I love you too," You heard him call out. The smell of pancakes flooded the room later and you breathed in the warm smell. Zack appeared once again with three plates. YOu smiled and sat up to take two of them from him. He handed one to you and then one to Rayne. You stared down at the pancakes and smiled, but crimson drops dotted the plate in a few places. You knew what you would see as you looked up. Just as before, Zack had blood dripping out from under his eyelids and from the corners of his mouth._

_"Zack why does this keep happening. Why won't you stay with me?" You questioned him._

_"Because, Kirra, you didn't want me," Zack's voice was monotone as he slumped onto the couch beside you._

_"But I do want you Zack," You cried._

_"No Kirra it's alright. I know the truth," Zack reassured you with a small smirk and he became limp as he leaned against the arm of the couch._

_"No Zack. You're wrong I do want you! Zack!" You cried at the lifeless body and began sobbing. "Zack please come back,"_

_~End Dream~_

"come back," The words were barley out of your mouth when you sat bolt upright in your bed. Cloud's arm was lazily thrown over your waist and you let out a shaking breathe. You removed his arm and went to check on Rayne. You stood in the door way and looked up from the floor to find Rayne's bed was empty. You became frantic and basically threw yourself down the stairs to see if Rayne was down there. Your breathing became quick when he wasn't in the living room. You let out a sigh of relief when you found him sitting in the kitchen floor with his sippy cup.

"Rayne what are you doing down here?" You asked the toddler with a quizzical look.

"I was thirsty Momma, I guess I should have woke you up," He said as he looked up at you.

"Yeah,but it's alright. You want anything else?" You asked the child.

"No, I just wanna go back to sleep," He said with a yawn. You nodded and picked him. As you ascended the stairs you began to hum to him softly. When you layed him in his crib you began to sing.

"Do you ever feel like a plastic bag,  
Drifting through the wind  
Wanting to start again?  
Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin  
Like a house of cards,  
One blow from caving in?

Do you ever feel already buried deep?  
6 feet under screams but no one seems to hear a thing  
Do you know that there's still a chance for you  
'Cause there's a spark in you

You just gotta ignite, the light,  
and let it shine  
Just own the night like the 4th of July

'Cause baby you're a firework  
Come on, show 'em what you're worth  
Make 'em go "Aah, Aah, Aah"  
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby, you're a firework  
Come on, let your colors burst  
Make 'em go "Aah, Aah, Aah"  
You're gonna leave 'em all in awe-awe-awe

You don't have to feel like a waste of space  
You're original, cannot be replaced  
If you only knew what the future holds  
After a hurricane comes a rainbow

Maybe your reason why all the doors are closed  
So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road  
Like a lightning bolt, your heart will blow  
And when it's time, you'll know

You just gotta ignite, the light,  
and let it shine  
Just own the night like the 4th of July

'Cause baby you're a firework  
Come on, show 'em what you're worth  
Make 'em go "Aah, Aah, Aah"  
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby, you're a firework  
Come on, let your colors burst  
Make 'em go "Oh, Oh, Oh"  
You're gonna leave 'em all awe-awe-awe

Boom, boom, boom  
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon  
It's always been inside of you, you, you  
And now it's time to let it through-ough-ough

'Cause baby you're a firework  
Come on, show 'em what you're worth  
Make 'em go "Aah, Aah, Aah"  
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby, you're a firework  
Come on, let your colors burst  
Make 'em go "Aah, Aah, Aah"  
You're gonna leave 'em all awe-awe-awe

Boom, boom, boom  
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon  
Boom, boom, boom  
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon" Rayne had lulled back to sleep and you stood there for a moment longer, just to watch him. He was so fragile and small. You took his blanket and covered him up. You sighed before retreating out of the room. You made your way back to your room, so you could crawl back into bed. You stood there for a moment though with your notebook in your hands as you scrawled a few more lines in the notebook.

"Every night I have the same dream  
The one where you get to hold me  
We laugh and talk until the morning  
And then you vanish,yeah  
It always leaves me feeling helpless  
When I wake up and you're not there

Can you hear me when I talk to you?  
Do you know how much I'd love to be with you?  
Can you hear me when I talk to you?  
'Cause I'd give anything if I just knew" You read over the lines and put the note pad down and forced yourself to sleep again.


	12. Surprise

Sorry its been so long. Enjoy :]]

* * *

You awoke to soft lips on your cheek. You rubbed your eyes and looked up at Cloud. He had cup of coffee in one hand. You smiled and took it form him knowingly. You sat up and kissed him softly on the lips before taking a drink of your coffee.

"Morning beautiful," He smiled at you.

"Morning sexy" You said as you took another sip of your coffee.

"Rayne's already up. I made him breakfast," YOu smiled at him as his spikes drooped into his face.

"You know you didn't have to do that," You told him as you moved the hair that was obstructing your view of his face. He smiled and place another kiss on your cheek. He stood up and looked down at you.

"When you come down stairs I'll have your breakfast ready too," He said as he walked to the door. YOu rolled your eyes and went to the bathroom. You brushed the onyx locks out of your face and bushed your teeth. You finally trudged down the stairs to find Rayne sitting at the coffee table watching TV as he ate. You smiled at him and went to the kitchen. You looked at the table and saw a small stack of pancakes on a plate with syrup drizzled on them. You smiled at the scene and CLoud wrapped his arms around your waist.

"CLoud, your so sweet," You turned around to look at the blond.

"It's the least I could do," He said as he kissed your forehead. You pouted at him, for not kissing your lips . He smirked and gave you a quick peck on the lips. You sat down and ate the pancakes. You usually didn't eat in the morning, but today Cloud had made you breakfast, so it was an exception. When breakfast was over you and Cloud sat on the couch, watching some boring TV show for toddlers and Rayne was watching it as he cuddled his teddy bear.

Cloud had taken you last week to the daycare he had been talking about and you wanted to surprise Rayne.

"Hey Rayne, do you want to go with Mommy somewhere today?" You asked him and he looked at you confused.

"Where would we go?" He asked and you smiled.

"It's a secret," You told him, but Cloud knew you were talking about the daycare. Rayne only nodded, wanting to know what you were talking about. You smiled at the child. "Well let's go get dressed then," You told him and you scooped the toddler off the floor and went up the stairs. You got Rayne dressed in some black jeans and a Slipknot T-shirt. You put some converses on him and he looked in the mirror.

"Are we going somewhere nice Mommy?" He asked and you smiled at him.

"It's a secret Rayne," You told him and you brushed his hair. It fell in his eyes in a shaggy way.

Soon you and Rayne were in the mustang heading to the daycare. Rayne was looking out the window at all the buildings that were passing by.

"Now Rayne I want you to close you eyes," You told him and he only nodded his head. He shut his eyes and you pulled into the parking lot. "Rayne keep your eyes shut and keep these head phones on," You told him as you place some earbuds in his ears. You turned on one of your songs and carried him in to the daycare. THe lady at the front smiled at you two and you pulled th earbuds out of his ears. "Open your eyes, sweety," You told him and his eyes lit up at all the kids that were there.

"Really Mommy," He said as you put him on the ground.

"Really," You told him and he smiled brightly. You looked back at the receptionist who smiled.

"You must be Rayne. Your Mommy told me that you want to make some friends," She said as she spoke to Rayne. He looked at you confused, probably thinking when could I have come here.

"Answer the nice lady Rayne," You encouraged him.

"Yeah, Mommy was right," He smiled.

"Well come right this way and we'll introduce you to some kids, okay," She said as she held her hand out to him. He cautiously took it and was led away to another room. You smiled sadly as he walked away. He was growing up and you hadn't been in his life much. You regretted not telling Sasori and everyone sooner. The woman came back into the room and smiled at you.

"So how will you be paying for our services?" She asked with a smile.

"I need to talk to you about a few things though," You told the woman as you pulled out a gold card Cloud had given you.

"Oh, What would that be," She asked curiously.

"I don't want just anyone to come in here and pick up my child," You told her seriously.

"Well Ma'am if you would fill out these forms we'll ensure your child's safety," She told you as she handed you a clipboard with some information on it. You filled out the paper work silently and handed it back to her.

"And I can promise you that if anything happens to my son, I will sue you and everyone here for every penny they have," You told her seriously.

"Ma'am there's no need for that," She said in her still sweet tone.

"Hm, well I'm going to tell him goodbye," You said as you stood up and walked out. You walked into the room he had disappeared into and saw him talking to another boy. He was smiling at the boy and you smiled at him. He was already making friends. He spotted you and smiled. He waved and motioned for you to come over to him. You smiled again and made your way to the toddler. You looked down at him and put your hand atop his head.

"Hey, Mommy this is Winter," He told you and you looked at the blond boy before you. His light grey eyes shined up at you and you smiled at him.

"Rayne, I have to go and meet Gir at work, but I'm going to come and get you right after, Okay?" You told him and he nodded.

"Okay," He told you. You bent down and kissed him gently on the forehead. He smiled and went on talking to Winter.

You walked back into the parking lot and climbed into the Mustang. You soon made your way to Razor's house where there was a rehearsal room. You made your way up the path and went into the house with out knocking. You had written out music for the songs and had them in the notebook as well. Jagger was spralled out on the couch watching some show on Spike TV. You sighed and leaned over him. He looked up once he felt your eyes on him.

"What are you doing here. I thought you would have been taking care of Rayne," He said with a smile.

"He's at daycare. He wanted to make some friends, and I decided if that's what he wants then it's okay," You told him with a shrug.

"Okay, Now what are you doing here?" He asked as he sat up.

"I came to practice with you guys. I have some new stuff, I'll think you'll like it," You told him as you handed him the notebook. He looked over it and hummed a few bars to himself.

"I do like it," He said as he read over them. He turned to your unfinished song and read over it with a raised eyebrow. He turned to face you and held it out. "What's this?" He asked.

"A song," You told him with no intention of explaining any more as you closed the notebook.

"About?" He asked.

"Zack," Was your only reply and he nodded.

"Well, let's go get Razor and Chain so we can get to work," He said as he stood up and streched. You went upstairs to find Chain was in the shower and Razor was on his laptop while sitting on his bed. You went and sat down beside the blond and looked up at him as you lay there on your back.

"What are you doing here?" He asked as he continued to look at the comptuter. His voice was emotionless and blank. You sighed and closed your eyes.

"Are you still mad Razor?" He didn't look at you and for amoment you thought he hadn't heard you, but you knew he was only ignoring you. You sighed and sat up.

"Boom, boom, boom  
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon  
It's always been inside of you, you, you  
And now it's time to let it through

Cause baby you're a firework  
Come on show 'em what your worth  
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"  
As you shoot across the sky-y-y" You sang in a loud voice that fell silent as quickly as it had been produced. You didn't look at him, to afraid he would be unaffected by your voice. When his hand covered your shoulder in such an intimate way you had to smile. You looked up at him and he kissed your cheek lightly. You could feel your face heating and you looked away. You stood from the bed and smiled. "So are we gonna rehearse or what?" You asked and you noticed the bucket in Jagger's hand, dangling dangerously from a metal handle with ice and water filled to the rim.

"Mine," You claimed and headed for the bathroom. Chain had the stereo so loud in the bathroom he wouldn't have heard someone screaming bloody murder. You tiptoed in and got into position and right when he was about to turn the water off he was hit with an icy sting of the cold water on his burning skin. You laughed and ran out of the room and down the hall to safety.

"Dammit Kirra!" You heard Chain yell and the water began again. When you saw him again he had a white towel around his waist and was running another through his silver locks. "Your fucking sick you know that! Do you know how bad that hurt Kirra! Damn!" He cursed with anger. You only smirked and hid behind Jagger.

"It was all his idea" You told him deviously. Chain glared at the both of you and went to get his shorts on. He came back in black basketball shorts and perfectly showing off his 8-pack. All of them were perfectly tones for those shows when they all decided to be shirtless.

You finally made your way to the jam room in the basement where there were a few couches, but an amazing settup of music equipment that would be a DJ's fantasy. You handed Razor the proofs for your songs and they all looked at them. You grabbed a guitar and started showing Jagger the way you pictured the song. You strummed the guitar as you sang the words. He took his guitar and added to it, after Jagger ran through it by himself and you smiled at him. You rehearsed all the songs with the band and you agreeded to meet up another day.

You were about to leave and were hugging the guys goodbye when you got this wierd knot in your stomach. Somethihng was wrong. Really wrong. You climbed into your car and raced over to the daycare. You came through the front door and the bells chimed. A woman met you at the front desk and asked you who you were looking for.

"My son, Rayne" You told her calmly.

"Aren't you a little young to have a child," She was suspicious.

"It's none of your business how old I am Ma'am and If I don't have my son soon I'm going to be late for our appointment," You told her. She nodded her head and went to get Rayne. He ran out to you with a huge smile on his face.

"Mommy!" He exclaimed and ran to you.

"Hey sweetheart, You have a doctor's appointment and we have to hurry," You told him.

"Okay," He said shyly, but was still smiling.

"You have fun?" You asked him as you walked out to the car.

"Yeah, I made lots of friends," He told you. You smiled at him as you strapped him in his carseat. You kissed the top of his e\head before climbing into the driver's seat. There was a teddy bear in the passenger seat that you had grabbed for Rayne and you finally gave it to him. You weren't really going to the doctor today, but you were surprising him by heading out to the beach to show Rayne the ocean for the first time. As you drove the clouds began to cluster and the sky began to darken. You debated on turning around, but you had set your mind on this and Cloud was going to meet you down there, so you had to get there.

You finally made it and pulled up to the beach. You shook Rayne slightly and he sat up with his hair askew. You unbuckled him and pulled him out and into his arms.

"Honey I have a surprise for you," You cooed to him. He looked up and you with questioning eyes. You pulled a digital camera out of your pocket and snapped a picture of him. He scowled and layed his head back on your shoulder. "Rayne will you please look over there, for Mommy," You asked him and as he looked at the ocean his face was that of awe and you snapped a picture of him quickly, not wanting to miss a moment. You met Cloud on the sand. Once you got out there you kissed him sweetly.

"Enjoy the view, Rayne?" He asked the child as he straightened his hair out with his hand.

"It's...pretty," He struggled to find the right word.

* * *

Hope you enjoyed I'll try to get the next chapter up soon :]]


	13. You Bastard!

You smiled down at Rayne as he looked out to the ocean. The wind blew harshly in your face and thunder cracked over head. THis was going to be a bad storm. You looked up at the darkening clouds and sighed.

"Get him home," Cloud looked at you with a smile.

"Yeah," You nodded and he gave you a sweet kiss on the lips. You wanted the kiss to last longer, but thunder cracked once more. You picked Rayne up from where he stood in the sand and carried him to the car. You buckled him in quickly and got in the driver's seat. You rubbed you eyes and ran a hand through your hair. You were exaughsted and when you got home you were curling into bed and going to sleep. Rain began to drizzle slowly as you backed out of the parking space. You sped down the road carefully. The rain was making it hard to see the road clearly, you pulled into a turn lane. A red light halted your advancement and you saw Cloud was in his white hummer behind you. You rubbed you eyes and watched the traffic pass. You looked over your shoulder and smiled at Rayne. You turned on some music to hopeful ease your mind as the light turned green. You pulled into the intersection carefully. Your caution went unrewarded. You felt an impact on the right side of the car and felt the car begin to flip. Rayne screamed in fear and you gasped. THis wasn't your first car wreck. Your head hit the side of the car roughly as the airbag deployed in your face. Your vision became fuzzy and everything went black.

"Kirra," You felt water pelting your face. It was Cloud's voice, he was crying.

"Cloud?" You looked up at him as your vision came back to you. CLoud's fuzzy outline appeared and behind him there was a billowing smoke and flames.

"Kirra," Cloud's voice made you panic.

"Where's Rayne?" Cloud didn't answer you. "Cloud where's my baby?" You were becoming frantic.

"I'm sorry Kirra, I couldn't save him," Cloud's words hit you like a frieght train. You felt your heart breaking. Sure Zack was bad enough, but you had just gotten Rayne back. He was your baby, even if Itachi was his father.

"No you're lying, where is he?" You didn't want to believe it. Cloud just shook his head and you sat up. The firetruck and ambulence had just pulled up. Tears poured from your eyes as you realized he was telling you the truth. You wrapped your arms around your knees as you began to cry. You rocked yourself back and forth and Cloud pulled you into his lap. He was crying too. He had loved Rayne, even if he wasn't his child. A medic came over and asked you what had happened but you couldn't speak. You looked at the truck that had hit your mustange. It was a large Ford F-150. It was also in flames but the driver was staggering around beside it. He was drunk. Anger flooded your body. You pushed yourself from Cloud and the medic and ran towards the man. He was about 40 with dark brown hair and green eyes that were bloodshot. When you got closer you could smell the alcohol on him. You had no words for this man you just began to hit him with everything you had.

"You bastard!" You yelled at him as you knocked him to the ground and began to kick him. A pollice officer pulled you away and restrained you.

"Ma'am there's no need to get this upset over your car,"

"You killed my son, You bastard!" You yelled and began to cry again. Rayne was gone. The police officer pulled you away from the now bleeding man.

"Ma'am please sit down," The cop placed you beside Cloud's hummer. Cloud was telling the cop what had happened and you just sat there crying. Your baby was gone. You felt empty. Rayne had become your world, Your everything. Now he was gone. In the blink of an eye his life had been taken. His existence only a mere flash. You now felt that your arm was broken and you were begining to feel the pain but you didn't care. The medic came over again to examine you and pulled a stretcher over and put you in the ambulence. The drugs they gave you made the pain go away and you were falling into your inner sanktum. The sanctuary of unconsciousness.

You awoke to find Pein, Sasori, Razor, Jagger, and Cloud all standing around your beside. You opened your eyes and found your arm in a cast. You just stared at your arm without a word. Jagger and Razor had been tlaking with each other but stopped when you opened your eyes.

"Kirra, do you remember what happened," Cloud asked and you didn't say anything just continued to stare at your arm.

"Kirra please speak to us," Razor spoke. You didn't move your eyes. You didn't say anything.

"Kirra, we're really really sorry for your loss," Jagger spoke.

"Out," Was your only word and Cloud was about to protest. "All of you. Out," You told them in a very harsh voice you didn't ever think you were capable of. Cloud just kissed your forehead and walked out of the room. Everyone left but Pein stayed in the seat next to the bed. He didn't say anything just sat there. You turned away from him. Tears escaped your eyes and you cried silently to yourself. Pein leaned forward and softly rubbed your back.

"Shhh," Pein hushed your growing sobs softly.

"Why me? Pein why?" You whispered.

"Shh, Don't say stuff like that. You didn't do anything wrong," Pein hushed you again. You turned back towards him.

"But now I've lost Zack, and now I've lost my only child. I've got nothing to live for now," You told him hopelessly.

"You've got Cloud, don't you?" Pein said. You only nodded.

"Then live for him Kirra. Make him your world. He's loved you for a very long time,"Pein knew you two were together whether you told him or not. You only nodded.


	14. Vodka & Dr Pepper

Okay so Rayne is dead. Yes I know. I cried when I wrote that chapter. There will be more crap in the next few chapters that take a toll on Kirra's mentality and for that she needed to vulnerable.

* * *

Two days later Cloud had already arranged Rayne's entire funeral. CLoud had picked you up from the hospital and you were sitting in the hummer, outside of the funeral home. You looked at the sky and tears fell down your cheeks. _This funeral was going to be much harder._ Minato's car pulled up beside the hummer and Naruto was sitting in the passenger seat. Cloud rubbed your arm and convinced you to get out of the car. You face was emotionless as you stepped onto the concrete. You were wewaring a pair of black slacks and a black turtle neck. Black dress shoes adorned your feet. You were wearing no make-up and no facial expressions.

Minato looked at you with a frown. He followed you and Cloud up the small path. Cloud placed his arm around you and helped you find your seat. Razor came in a moment later and sat down behind you. Jagger was right behind him and looked completly heart broken.

The casket was closed, Rayne's body had been so badly burned that it was hardly recognizable as a child. A picture sat atop the casket of him cuddling one of his teddy bears. You held yourself in an air of depression, but didn't cry. You would not cry.

People came, everyone of your friends and some of Naruto's friends who had met Rayne had shown up, but a few decided to come univited. Itachi came through the door first followed by his father, his mother and finally Sasuke trailed in last. Pein,who had been sitting in the back with a guarded expression, jumped up and went to talk to the family.

"You are not to be here. You are not welcome at this funeral," Pein told them.

"This is my grandson's funeral, I have every right to be here," Mikoto stated. You stood and went to stand beside Pein.

_"Technically_ he wasn't your grandson, because Itachi never signed the birth certificate. Now he has no DNA to prove it so if you would be so kind as to leave or I will be force to call the poilce and tell them you have been harrassing me in my emotional state. And if I do something rash, no one will blame me," You stated as you let the hilt of a gun be seen from under your shirt. Fungaku seemed angry, but he knew you were right.

"You can stay," You looked at Sasuke. He nodded and found a place next to Naruto.

"He actually knew Rayne. You are just here to cause me emotional trama," You looked at Itachi now. You glared at all of them, you didn't want anyone to see you like this, but there was nothing more left of your love. It was going to take you awhile to get over this. Rayne was so bright and cheerful, the light to your darkness. You returned to your seat as the eulogy started. You couldn't focus on anything when the preacher began speaking. You thought of how you had dumped Rayne on Minato and picked him up, only to get him killed only a month after you take back custody of him. The small casket was taken over to your family cemetary where it was placed next to your parents. After they had covered Rayne's casket you turned to your mother's grave and knelt on your knees. Everyone ignored your act as a sign of dispair. Your eyes were pulled together in pain as you sent a silent prayer.

_"Mom, I know I couldn't be a great mother. I'm sorry, but please take care of your grandson, please_," You kissed your fingers and raised them above your head. Cloud placed a hand on your shoulder and stroked your back lightly. Slowly you got up and Cloud helped you back to the hummer.

You sat in the passenger seat as Cloud walked up to Pein and they exchanged words for a few minutes, then Pein led Cloud back into the graveyard.

* * *

"Pein, I need to speak to you for a moment," You told Pein. He nodded and the two of you walked back toward the grave site.

"What is it Cloud?" Pein had his hands shoved deep in the pockets of his black slacks.

"I've been training at the SOLDIER Acadamy for some time now, and I got my first assignment," You paused as Pein gave you a hard look.

"You're leaving her?" His eyes narrowed.

"No. I would never, but I'm going to be gone for a few weeks. I want you to make sure she is okay while I'm gone," You explained.

"Cloud I swear if you hurt her, I will rip your insides out and show them to you before you die," The look in Pein's eyes was a serious one.

"I'm not going to hurt her, I promise," You told him.

"Good. Now when are you leaving?" Pein asked.

"Tomorrow.." You didn't want to leave her alone so soon, but you didn't have a choice.

You and Pein finished talking and you climbed into the hummer with Kirra. Her black hair was oily and dull as it fell limply against her soulders. Tears streaked her cheeks again. You leaned over and took her chin in your hands. You pulled her closer to you and kissed her sweetly.

* * *

Cloud climbed back into the vehicle and kissed you. You were thinking about Rayne and how excited he had looked at the beach. The last good memory you had of him. You cried again and Cloud hushed you.

"Do you want me to stay with you tonight?" He asked softly and you nodded your head.

"Please don't leave me," You begged him. This made Cloud's stomach clench at what was to happen.

"I'll never leave you Kirry," Cloud told you and for some reason you didn't believe him. You looked out the window and watched the buildings pass by. Soon you were sitting in your drive way and Cloud helped you in the house and into your room. "Do you need anything?" He asked you. You shook your head no and rolled over on your side. You lay there for a long moment while Cloud started cleaning up the house, doining dishes, laundry and anything else you needed. You listened to him, for a long while until he came back upstairs, took his shirt off and crawled into bed with you. Your head was placed against his chest, listening to his heartbeat. The steady thump made it easy to fall asleep.

Thump-Thump-Thump-Thump-Thump-Thump-Thump-

_Everything around you was black now. Dark, and silent. You looked around and saw nothing. A small light illuminated a dark figure. Blonde hair topped his head._

_"Cloud?" You whispered. HE turned and you saw the crimson tears streaming from his eyes._

_"Kirra," He smiled. _

_"You're leaving me too?" You cried out._

_"No Kirra. I'll come back. I'll always come back," He smiled and his figure disappeared as if he were a mirage._

You woke to find a steaming cup of coffee and a note next to you.

**Kirra,**

**I didn't want to leave, but my first assignment starts to day, I'll be home in a few weeks.**

**Love Always,**

**Cloud**

You read the note and sighed. He left you. He said he wouldn't but he did. You sat there and began to cry. You couldn't handle all of this at once. You sighed and you heard a car door slam and jumped up to look out the window. You watched Cloud's hummer disappear down the road, and turn the corner. You had the stange yerning to follow him, but didn't. He had his first assignment today and you had watched Zack leave for the first few weeks, happy as he could have been. You drank the coffee and layed on the bed for a long time. You didn't want to be in this house.

You got up and took a quick shower. You pulled on a pair of black skin tight skinny jeans and a white V-neck T-shirt. You pulled on your black converses and grabbed the keys to your new honda civic. You pulled on a black sweat shirt, grabbed your purse and jumped in the car. You backed out of the driveway and drove. You didn't know where you were going, but you were just going, driving, trying to get away form the sadness. You found yourself in front of your drug dealers house. You got out and went up to the door. You didn't knock, instead just walked in. You had done it a million and one times. The pale man came out, his black hair almost touched his shoulders.

"What do you want this time Kirra?" Sai looked at you.

"My usual, I was trying to stop, but it turns out that wasn't working for me," You shrugged your shoulders. He didn't badger you but disappeared down the hallway and came back with a half ounce of weed and a bag of pure heroin. He sat it on the coffee table and you handed him about a hundred dollar bill. He folded it up and put it in hisw pocket. You pulled a pipe out of your pocket and began breaking up some of the weed, ridding it of stems and seeds. You placed the bud in the pipe and pulled out a lighter. You took one hit of it then handed it to Sai who smirked and took a quick hit off of the pipe. You finished the bowl and put the pipe back in your pocket. and put your bags in your purse.

"I haven't seen you in quite a while, I was starting to think you had moved on to someone else, but you won't find anything this good anywhere else around here," He sighed.

"I had a son and I took him back, he died four days ago and his funeral was yesterday," You told him while looking at the brown carpet.

"I'm sorry to hear that," He spoke innocently. You were going to say something else when his door opened and someone walked in. You looked up to see Sasuke standing there. He seemed surprised to see you.

"Hello there little Uchiha," You laughed. The pot had put you in a better mood.

"You're high?" Sasuke was looking at Sai some what furious.

"I am," Sai just smiled and you stood.

"I will see you in few days," You smiled again and went out to your car. You pulled out and went over to Pein's house where most of the Akatsuki hung out. You walked in the door, your face was emotionless but your eyes were glossy and large. You sat down on the couch next to Sasori and he looked at you with a raised eyebrow. He could smell the weed, you knew he could, but he didn't say anything. He seemed depressed as well. You knew he had loved Rayne, just because he was family.

Sasori let you lay your head on his shoulder and watch the TV. You sighed when Itachi walked into the room. You glared at him, and turned back to the TV. Sasori sighed and you sniggled into him. You got up and went into the kitchen. Itachi was standing in front of the fridge and you went to the cabinet and grabbed a bag of dorritos. You stuck one in your mouth.

"Why do you act as if you hate me?" Itachi's voice was low.

"Because I do," You told him bluntly.

"I haven't said a word about that kid not being mine. It's not my fault Shisui got you pregnant then died," Itachi glared at the fridge.

"I thought we weren't going to talk about it," You sighed as you stuck another chip in your mouth.

"Yeah well we need to," He said as he grabbed a soda out of the fridge and turned to you. His eyes were bloodshot but you weren't afraid. Itachi took a step forward, he was looking down at you.

"Itachi," You warned him, thinking someone may come in the room.

"I've missed you," Itachi brushed your cheek with his thumb. You pushed past him before he could kiss you.

"Itachi we need to talk, but not here... Stop by my house later, and we'll talk," You told him in a whisper and exited the kitchen with the bag a chips. You sat down next to Sasori and he looked at you with a questioning look. You sat around for a few hours before deciding to go home. Cloud wasn't going to be home for a few weeks so you would be all alone. You pulled up to the house and went inside. You went into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of vodka and a Dr. Pepper. You took a quick shot and chased it with the soda. You sighed and sat down on the couch. You curled up into a ball and turned on the TV.

Hours past before you heard someone knock on the door...

* * *

**So sorry to leave the chapter like that! But there is more character development XD. You know you love me :]] Yes there are alot of typos but I wanted to get this one up as soon as possible. **

**And so we see that Rayne wasn't Itachi's child! but does that mean that Itachi didn't rape Kirra? hmmmmm.. We shall find out soon.**


	15. Always

You sat there for what seemed like forever before someone knocked on your door. You got up slowly and went over to the door, opening it to reveal Itachi standing on your porch. You let him inside and he smirked.

"I haven't seen the inside yet," He spoke to himself.

"Cloud has been staying with me, sorry," You apologized.

"It's okay," He said as he took a step towards you. He moved your hair away from your face and stroked your cheek gently.

"Itachi," You looked up at him and moved out of his grasp.

"What, Kirra?" He looked at you with hurt eyes.

"We can't do this. A lot has changed," You told him and his eyes narrowed.

"What do you mean?" His voice came out as fierce and angry.

"I mean, we can't do this anymore. I came to you when I was hurt and I'm sorry I used you. We can't do this. Not while I'm with Cloud," You told him.

"You aren't with Cloud. He is off with SOLDIER and you are here alone. He left you the day after your son's funeral. I'd say he doesn't care about you," Itachi was playing with his words.

"You don't know him Itachi. He loves me, like you never can. He treasures me because he had to watch me with his best friend for years,"

"I had to watch you with Shisui when he knew I loved you. I had to watch you carry his child and I had to be there when you delivered his spawn," Itachi huffed in your face. "I hated that child. It was proof of what my cousin took from me. That's why I killed him!" Itachi yelled in your face and you stared at him with wide eyes. He bit his lip in realization of what he had just confessed.

"You killed Shisui so that he couldn't be with me?" You asked slowly. Itachi pulled his eyes together, but answered the question anyways.

"Yes," You turned and slapped him. Palm out and continued to hit him until you fell to your knees, tears streaming from your eyes. He leaned down and pulled you to him.

"Kirra. I'm sorry. I'd do anything for you. I'll always be here. I'll always love you, always," He whispered in your ear.

"Why would you do that to me? Why would you take away my son's father? Why would you hurt me like that? It took me months to get over Shisui's death. I came to you for advice and comfort, all the while you were the one who caused me my pain," You tears hadn't ceased. Itachi wrapped his arms around you and you cried into his chest.

"Please stop crying. Kirra, baby, please stop," He begged you.

"Why? You've watched me cry over Shisui many times, and you never felt any guilt! You never thought of it as your fault, when it was!" You yelled in his face. Tears streaked down your cheeks as you cried harder. You pushed Itachi away, wanting him to leave. "Leave. Now," You told him as you pushed against his chest harder.

"Kirra. Please," He was still holding onto you, even though you wanted him to leave.

"No Itachi. Leave now," You pushed against his chest again and tried to get away from him, but his grip held firm. You tears seemed to cease and panic set in.

"No Kirra. I need to make you forgive me," He spoke in a hard whisper. His hands grabbed your wrist and pulled you to your feet. He forced your back against the wall and held you there firmly. You held your breath and tried to find a way to loosen his grip. How could you get away? Would he really do something like this? His head bent and caught your lips with his. He forced his tongue into your mouth and held your wrists above your head. He broke the kiss and looked at you, his eyes no longer black, but a bloodshot red.

"Itachi. Please let go of me," You begged him and his glare intensified.

"You know you still want me Kirra, no matter how much you deny me. You still want me," His words tickled the back of your neck as he whispered in your ear. You let out a small whimper when his grip on your wrists tightened, and you knew they would bruise. He pulled the white T-shirt over your head, and discarded it on the floor. He removed you from the wall and forced you on your back on the couch, you squirmed and tried to get away from him.

"Kirra, don't fight me," He said as her grabbed the belt loops of your skinny jeans. He pulled them off with out a hitch and you lay there now in your underwear. You closed your eyes, hoping he might feel some kind of pity, but the unzipping of his pants brought you back to reality. He removed your panties and you tried to squirm away once more. He held you down with one hand and forced himself inside you with the other. WHen he began moving you were still fighting him, trying to get away, but his grip on your hips held firm. He grabbed your bicep with his other hand and squeezed it, holding you in place. Tears streamed from your cheeks.

"Itachi please stop!" You begged him over and over again. He didn't listen though, continued pounding into you and you kept crying. When he finished you lay there crying still. He zipped his pants back up and smiled. He leaned down to your ear and you felt his breath on your neck.

"You will always be mine," his voice chilled your skin and made you want to puke. Your tears still fell and cascaded down your cheeks. With those words said he let himself out the front door. You forced yourself upstairs and into the shower. You stood in the scalding water until it ran ice cold. You washed yourself four times, trying to get the disgusting feeling off your skin. You got out of the shower and called Razor.

"Can you come over? I need to talk to you," Your voice was weak.

"What is it Kirra? I'll be right there," You heard him fumbling with his keys already.

"I- I'll tell you when you get here," You spoke softly.

"I'm coming," He said and you heard his car starting up. You hung up and pulled a robe on and towel dried your hair. You sighed and looked in the mirror, wishing what had happened moments before hadn't. You heard the front door open and close and Razor's voice filled the silence.

"Kirra, what's up with your clothes?" He asked as he came up the stairs. You flung yourself in his arms as the tears began to stream down your cheeks again. "Kirra?" Razor's voice was hushed into a whisper. He picked you up and carried you to your bed where he sat you on his lap. Your head was in the crook of his neck, you were crying still. "Tell me what happened," Razor's voice was worried.

"Itachi. He- he broke in, and.." Your voice trailed off and you cried again. Razor shushed you and told you he would handle it.

"I'm going to call Jagger and the band. Get them over here," He was about to get up when you threw your arms around him.

"Don't leave. Please," You begged him and he nodded. He wrapped his arms around you and held you tightly.

"Why didn't you call Cloud?" Razor asked. His face in your wet hair. His breath warmed you and you sighed.

"He's on an assignment with SOLDIER," You told him. His eyes narrowed and you could feel the anger radiating off of him. He flipped open his phone and called Jagger.

"Hey," His voice was mono toned, and cold, "Bring everyone over to Kirra's. Quickly, Jagger," Jagger could sense the anger undertones in his brother's voice, and made sure to grab everyone and hurry. Five minutes later you could hear the front door open and close. Jagger came up the stairs and walked into the room with a worried look. Your head was still on Razor's shoulder. Your hands were fisted in Razor's shirt, holding you there tightly. His arms loosened around you and you lifted your head. Jagger stood in the doorway with an angered expression.

"What happened?" Jagger was staining to keep his voice calm. Razor stood and put you on the bed.

"I'll be right back," Razor whispered in your ear. You just nodded and hugged your pillow. Razor motioned for Jagger to step out of the room. They went down the stairs where Lucifer and Chain were waiting.

"WHat happened to her?" Jagger was about to punch something.

"Itachi broke in here. He well.." Razor motioned to the clothes laying on the ground. Jagger was clenching and unclenching his fists at his side.

"I'm going to kill him," Jagger was about to turn, but Razor caught him by the arm.

"Leave that to her brother and the Akatsuki. Right now she is in her bed, crying her eyes out because her boyfriend wasn't here to protect her. If you're mad at anyone, it should be Cloud," Razor wanted to go find him and punch the SOLDIER in the face himself.

"Where is he?" Chain spoke up from the couch.

"He's on an assignment with SOLDIER. Left this morning," Razor told everyone with a dark tone.

"I'm going to kill 'em both," Jagger's hands were still fists.

"Later. Right now, we have to worry about her," Razor said as he started back up the stairs. When they entered Kirra's room again they saw Kirra sitting on her bed with a pipe in her hand. She had changed into a pair of black shorts and a lace bra. Smoke filled the room and she lit the pipe again. She blew out some smoke with a gloomy look. Razor walked over and sat beside her, and Jagger was on her other side. Jagger pulled her into his lap. Razor had found out the day before that Kirra and Cloud were together. It hadn't shocked him as much as it had Jagger. Kirra didn't know but Jagger loved her, would do anything for her kind of love.

"Are you alright Kirry?" Jagger whispered in her ear.

"Yeah," Her voice was weak and Jagger had to really listen to hear her. His arms were wrapped around her waist tightly. He held her against him, wanting her to know she was safe. She snuggled up to him and burried her face in his neck. Jagger's face was in her hair and he smiled. He loved being this close to her. Jagger took the pipe from her and took a puff from it himself. He blew out the smoke and Razor left the room, letting them be alone. Jagger's arms tightened around Kirra and she took in several deep breathes.

"Talk to me Kirra. Tell me what you're thinking," Jagger's hushed whispers were barely audible.

"I'm scared. I don't want to be alone," Kirra's voice hitched as tears streamed down her cheeks. Jagger brushed the tears away with his thumbs and looked down at her.

"I'm here Kirra. I won't let anything happen to you. You're safe," Jagger cooed in her ear. He rocked her back and forth until they both fell asleep in her bed. Kirra woke up first, but didn't move a muscle. Jagger was clinging to her and Kirra felt safe in his arms. It wasn't Cloud, but she was still safe. As long as she had someone to hold her, she felt safe. Jagger could hear her voice and he lay there and listened to her sing, wishing she was singing the song just for him.

"Lately I've been writing desperate love songs

and mostly sing them to the wall

You could be the center piece of my obsession

If you would notice me at all yeah

Well, I don't want the whole world

The sun and moon and all their light

I just wanna be the only girl,

You love all your life

You love all your life

You love all your life, life, yeah" Her words pierced him and his grip tightened on her and he snuggled into her more. He didn't want to let her go. "Did I wake you up?" Her voice was hushed and Jagger sighed.

"No. I just wanted to listen to you sing some more. It's been a while since you've sang for just me," Jagger's voice was hoarse and groggy.

"What do you want to hear?" Kirra asked him.

"Anything," He whispered in her ear. She screwed her lips up at the side and thought for a moment. She hummed for just a moment before she began to sing.

"You were my conscience, so solid, now you're like water

And we started drowning, not like we'd sink any further

But I let my heart go, It's somewhere down at the bottom

But I'll get a new one and come back for the hope that you've stolen

I'll stop the whole world, I'll stop the whole world

From turning into a monster and eating us alive

Don't you ever wonder how we survive?

Well now that you're gone, the world is ours

I'm only human, I've got a skeleton in me

But I'm not the villain, despite what you're always preaching

Call me a traitor, I'm just collecting your victims

And they're getting stronger

I hear them calling

I'll stop the whole world, I'll stop the whole world

From turning into a monster and eating us alive

Don't you ever wonder how we survive?

Well now that you're gone, the world is ours

Well you find your strength in solution

But I liked the tension

And not always knowing the answers

But you're gonna lose it, you're gonna lose it

I'll stop the whole world, I'll stop the whole world

From turning into a monster and eating us alive

Don't you ever wonder how we survive?

Well now that you're gone, the world...

I'll stop the whole world, I'll stop the whole world

From turning into a monster and eating us alive

Don't you ever wonder how we survive?

Well now that you're gone, the world is ours" Jagger listened to her last word. 'Ours.' He loved those words. He wished he could tell her how he felt, he had tried to tell her many times, but could never make himself spill the words. Kirra lay there for a long moment then she sat up. Her head was spinning and she fell back onto the bed. Jagger laughed at her.

"Light headed?" He asked her.

"Mhmmm," Kirra laughed and Jagged smiled at her. Kirra curled back into Jagger without a complaint. Jagger's arms encircled her waist and he held her to him.

"Kirra. Are you going to be okay?" Jagger asked her in a whisper.

"Yeah. I just-" She paused and fisted her hands in his shirt, "I just don't want to be alone," Her eyes were beginning to water.

"Kirra. You'll never be alone," Jagger's whisper made her feel safe. She curled into him and Jagger felt at peace in that moment. He wished he could tell her how he really felt, but the truth would destroy the moment and he wanted to stay like this for as long as he could. He loved her, and wanted her to be happy. If his own happiness was what had to be sacrificed, then he would keep his own feelings to himself. He rubbed her back gently and she let out a sigh. She didn't say anything, just stayed still. He wanted her to talk to him, but he wouldn't pry, he knew she would tell him everything in due time.

"Jagger," Kirra's voice was soft.

"Yes?" He looked down at her.

"Thank you," Her voice was soft.

"Oh Kirra. I'll always be here for you," Jagger pulled her closer to him.

"Take me away to January

I'm done with this year,

I'm tired of everyone here

I just need some time alone

Before I'm ready to come back home

There's gotta be something else out there for me

I could feel it in my heart the day I started to dream

There's more than this Midwestern town

I can't let this place keep me down

So I tell myself

There's a girl out on the coast of California,

There's a world out there and it's waiting for you.

And I can hear them calling my name tonight.

Take me away,

I need the sand and the waves

The sunset and let's not forget those warm autumn days

I just need to get out of here

And visit the coast just to see her

There's gotta be something else out there for me

I could feel it in my heart the day I started to dream

There's more than this Midwestern town

I can't let this place keep me down

So I tell myself

There's a girl out on the coast of California,

There's a world out there and it's waiting for you.

And I can hear them calling my name tonight.

There's a world out there and it's waiting for you.

And I can hear them calling my name tonight.*

Take me away to January  
I'm done with this year,  
I'm tired of everyone here  
I just need some time alone  
Before I'm ready to come back home" Jagger's voice filled the room as he sang quietly to Kirra. When he looked down at her, tears streamed down her cheeks. SHe wasn't making any noise or breathing raggedly, just crying silently to herself. Jagger slowly brushed a finger across her cheek and tried to stop the tears. "Kirra, please stop crying," Jagger brushed her cheeks again and she bit her lip. He hated seeing her like this. He held her face in his hands and he noticed how close they were. He leaned down and gently caught her lips in his. He noticed her body tense, then she melted into him. Her hands went around his neck and he held her to him. Their lips locked and Jagger didn't want to release her. When he finally released her. He kept his eye closed, he didn't want to know what she had to say. Her shaking hand pushed his hair out of his face. He lifted his lids and looked at her pale face. Her eyes were confused and he wanted to tell her how he felt.

"Jagger," Kirra's voice was apologetic.

"Kirra. I shouldn't have done that. I just hate seeing you so sad," Jagger looked away from her, hoping he wasn't giving away any of his true feelings. SHe didn't say anything, just sat up abruptly. Jagger felt like someone had shoved a knife in his stomach. It hurt to see her standup and walk over to her closet. She pulled on a tanktop and ran down the stairs. She grabbed her keys off the table and tried to run out the front door, but Razor grabbed her around the waist.

"Where are you going?" Razor asked.

"I have to get out of here. I have to go talk to Sasori. I have to go," Her voice was weak, and strained. Razor released her and she ran out to her car. Tears streaming down her cheeks and her body shaking. She pulled out of the driveway and drove over to Sasori's house. When she opened the door she found Deidara sitting on the couch shirtless with a beer in his hand.

"Kirra?" He jumped up and walked over to her. He pushed some of her hair out of her face and looked down at her. "Kirra what happened?" He asked her softly and Kirra shook her head.

"Where's Sasori?" She choked out.

"In his room," Deidara let her hurry up the stairs without asking any more questions. She walked into Sasori's room and collapsed in his bed. Sasori walked out of the bathroom with a confused look.

"Kirra?" He sounded worried. He rushed over to her side.

"I can't take this anymore nii-san. I'm ready to give up," She didn't want to scare him but she was only telling him the truth.

"Tell me what happened," He told her quietly.

"Cloud left," Sasori looked at her shocked, "His first assignment. I went and hung out with you yesterday because i didn't want to be alone. When I went home.. Itachi... he-" SHe broke out into sobs again and Sasori was a statue. He wasn't comforting her, because he was too angry. He wasn't yelling because he didn't want to scare her. He was silent and furious. He stood slowly.

"Stay here with Deidara. I'll be back," Sasori left the room quickly, and Kirra heard the murmur of voices downstairs then the slam of a door. Deidara climbed the stairs and told you to come down stairs with him. His blonde hair was loose around his shoulders. He wanted to comfort her, but he never had a little sister and Kirra was practically family to him.

"Kirry, everything's going to be okay," He began but she threw him a hard look.

"No it won't. Nothing will ever be alright. God must hate me," Kirra spoke slowly without stumbling over her words. Her hands were shaking furiously though, her nerves were starting to break her down. She fisted her hands in her hair and let the tears flow, She didn't want this. Not this life. She never wanted anything, but to be happy. "It won't be okay," SHe muttered under her breath. It was as if everything she did turned back on her. She stood, bolting from the room and down the stairs. She ran out to her car and ignored Deidara as he followed after her. She jumped in her car and locked the doors. She peeled out of the driveway and drove. She didn't know where she was going but she knew she needed to get out of Konoha.

She drove and drove until her gas light flashed and she had to fill her tank. She stood next to her car, tears in her eyes as she pumped the gas. When she climbed back into the car, she checked her phone. She had 30 missed calls and twenty texts. She didn't answer them or anything, just put her phone down. She continued on the path she was going, not knowing exactly where it would take her, but knowing she just needed to go. Her stomach growled at her and she knew she needed to eat. She pulled off the interstate and pulled into an Olive Garden. She ordered something small, to appease he stomach. She saw a child running across the room to his mother. It caused Kirra pain to watch him, but she continued to watch.

When her food arrived she ate quickly and left money for the check. She climbed back into her car and continued driving. It wasn't until she saw the house in front of her did she realize where she had gone instinctually. She climbed the stairs and knocked on the door. A man with bright red hair answered the door. Kirra hadn't seen him in the longest time. He smiled at her and pulled her into a hug immediately.

"How have you been little sister? Has the Goddess given you much prosperity?" He asked.

"No I have not been so lucky dear brother," Kirra told the man. He gave her a worried look.

"Tell me what is on your mind?" He motioned for her to come into the house.

"Well Genisis, it's a really long story," She sighed.

"We have time," Genisis motioned to the couch. They sat on the couch and Kirra retold her story to her eldest brother. By the end she was in tears. She had told him the truth about everything. About Rayne truely being Shisui's child and how Itachi had gone along with it. Zack dying and Cloud coming into her life. Genisis held her tightly and Kirra cried.

"You know I won't tell anyone," Genisis spoke and she nodded.

"That's why I trust you with the truth. You're the only person I can trust with the truth, Gen. I just need a break. The Goddess has punished me long enough. I'm ready for the light at the end of the tunnel," Kirra told him. "Would she have mercy for me? Just once? Maybe enough to let me die without anymore pain?" She felt Genisis sigh and shake his head.

"Kirra you are beloved by the goddess, she will not let you die. Everything that's happened is because of your strength, She knows you are strong enough to survive," Genisis spoke slowly.

"It's not fair," She sighed heavily. "I don't want to be beloved. I want to be happy again. I want to be normal for once," Kirra place her head in her hands, running them up into her onyx locks and fisting them there.

"You've never been normal, dearest sister. Never will you be normal. The only way you can be happy is to speak the truth. To tell everyone what has happened. To open your eyes and let everyone in," Genisis spoke to her gently.

"They would hate me. They would feel betrayed," She sighed.

"And don't they have a right to?" Genisis asked her. She nodded and sighed again. She felt her phone vibrate and she looked at her phone. "Jagger" flashed on the screen.

"Hello?" She asked as she answered.

"Are you okay?" It was Jagger, his voice was strained and cracking. He'd called her many times.

"I'm fine. I'll be home eventually but I needed to get out. Get away from everything," She ran a hand through her locks as she let out a heavy sigh.

"Are you sure? You left pretty quickly," Jagger asked her.

"I'm fine Jagger, promise," She hung the phone up quickly. She looked down at the phone again and shook her head. She needed to be away. Fro him, from Razor, from Sasori, from every single one of her problems. She'd always ran away. No matter if the problems were big or small, she'd always ran away. Always..

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**Sorry It's been so long guys. I finally got internet back, so there will be more updates. I hope you guys enjoy this. ^~^**


	16. I'm Sorry Goodbye

**I don't think I ever stated this. I'll have to go back and fix this but Sasori and Gaara live in Orlando, but Zack and Cloud lived in Miami. Just wanting to give you guys a setting to make what's going on more concrete :) Genesis lives near Jacksonville. All in Florida, but the story is about to become more broad so prepare yourself.**

* * *

She wasn't sure how long she sat there staring at her phone but it was more than she could stand. She didn't know when it hit her, but she knew what she had to do. She couldn't go back. There was no happiness for her there. She opened her messaging screen and typed three words to Cloud.

_**I'm Sorry. Goodbye.**_

When she sent the message she turned it off and bent the phone to shatter the screen. She sighed. She knew now she was running and the fear of leaving behind those she loved was nothing compared to the sorrow dwelling in her at that moment. She took a deep breath as Genesis walked back into the room.

"Did you figure out what you're going to do?" He asked waiting for her response.

"Yeah," She told him and she stood. She didn't want to keep Cloud's car but until she could get another one, it would have to do. She sighed again and walked out to the car. This damn state was turning against her and she felt as if she just needed to go. She went to the bank and used Cloud's card to pull out $10,000 and sighed. She wouldn't be able to use this card again until she wanted to be found.

She wasn't quite sure where she was going at the moment but she filled the car up with gas then stashed the card away. She pulled onto the interstate and began driving, not paying attention to where she was going, she just knew that she needed to go. After countless hours of driving a sign welcomed her.

Welcome To New York

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**I know it's a super short chapter but it's a transition chapter.**


	17. Love, Anger & Confusion

**To make up for the last chapter here is one that I am quite proud of ^~^ Anger, Love and lots of confusion for a certain fiery red-head :}**

* * *

Two years has passed since Kira left. She found herself struggling in the populated area, but found it easy to blend into the crowds there. No one paid any attention to her. She'd sold Cloud's car easily for rent money, since everything in New York was accessible via subway she really didn't need the car. She'd put all of the money she'd had at the time buying an apartment in the city for seven months. Once she sold the car she found she'd had enough to buy food and pay what bills would be coming in. She knew she had to find a job and when she stumbled upon a club on the Lower East Side in was just her place. The owner had approached her and asked if she knew how to bar-tend. Of course the girls fake ID stated that she was 22 so she was completely in the clear. She'd even began bleaching her hair as not to get recognized by anyone.

Kira had started two days later. Finding the work was fun and amusing as she watched everyone get drunk and party. Being in the environment did nothing for her celibacy though. She began smoking weed again and it was long before she was back on the needle. She didn't let it control her though. She'd only been doing it once a week, on her off day to let her enjoy her day. She wandered around her apartment lazily in a pair of sweat pants and a tank top. She rubbed her face with a sigh. She heard a knock at her door and she groaned.

"Who is it?" She called.

"Open up!" a man's voice called she gave a huff as she walked over to the door and swung it open. A guy leaned up again the door frame wearing ripped up skinny jeans and a black Saliva band tee. His red spiked hair was looking wild as ever and he smiled down at her. "I thought you'd want to get out of here for a while," He told her and she sighed, letting him into the apartment.

"What'd you have in mind," She asked as she walked into her bedroom to pull on red skinny jeans and a white Sleeping With Sirens band tee. She pulled on a thin black hoodie to cover herself up. She pulled on a pair of Vans and walked back out into the living area.

"I was thinking dinner and then from there it's up in the air," He told her and she nodded.

"You paying?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Naturally," He smirked at her as he leaned down to gently place a kiss on her lips. She rolled her eyes and grabbed her purse, pulling over her head to where the bag rested on her hip. She followed the man out onto her landing and locked the door behind them. She sighed as they walked out into the city. Usually at night you'd think the streets would be emptier. Perhaps more quiet, but that was when the city came alive. She walked past a million people, all seeming to blur together until they all looked the same. She'd been here for two years and the city still amazed her.

"Where are you taking me Axel?" She asked with slight confusion.

"To dinner, stop complaining Raea," She had become used to the name on her fake ID. It'd taken her a while to get used to it, but she'd began to take it with her new life. She pushed the thoughts away from her world in Florida and focused on the here and now. Axel pulled her into a restaurant called South Gate. She let him get them a seat and she waited for the waiter to write down what she wanted to drink. She turned to Axel with a smile.

"So what's all this about? You never just feel like going out, usually I'm the one dragging you into the city," She told him.

"Well I wanted to see you, and I figured you'd want to go out," Axel looked away from her, slightly embarrassed as a blush formed on his cheeks. What was the red head thinking that was making him act this way. He was usually energetic and happy, but now he was quiet and cautious, if that was the correct word for it. When the waiter returned with their drinks they ordered and soon they were eating in silence. Once they were finished Axel paid the bill without letting her see it. When they left Axel held her hand gently as they walked down the street.

"Raea, we've known each other since you moved here, and I don't know what else to tell except that I love you. I love you more and more every time we're together and I will always love you," Axel began.

"Axel please stop," She told him as she released his hand and looked at the ground.

"Why? You can't tell me that you don't feel the same," He looked at her shocked.

"Axel, I just can't," She told him.

"Your fiance died two years ago. How long will it take you to get over him?" Axel asked her, his words were soft, but they hurt as if he had screamed them at her. She glared at him now. She said nothing to him, just stalked passed him toward the clubbing district. She needed to get her mind off of him. She walked up to a bouncer who had previously worked at the Temple (Raea's current work place.) He smiled at her and let her passed him. She let the music vibrate through her body and she made her was over to the bar. She flashed the bartender her ID and ordered a drink. She took her shots and let the alcohol flow throughout her body. When she moved out onto the dance floor she felt someone's hands on her hips. She turned to see one of her regulars standing behind her. He was always at the club when she was working.

He was a rich boy, from Staten Island who loved to spend his parents money on clubbing and pretty women. She looked him up and down and leaned forward to place a teasing kiss on his lips. He kissed her back as their bodies continued to move to the beat of the music. She hadn't thought about what would happen next but they continued to dance until she knew she was really drunk and decided it was time for her to go home. The guy she'd been dancing with all night, Demyx, was following behind her like a puppy. She let him take her hand. When she finally climbed the stair to her apartment she felt the tension between the two of them rise.

When she awoke in the morning she was naked in her bed with the dirty blonde from the night before. She groaned and went to start some coffee. She took the time to take a scalding shower and get dressed. She had pulled on a pair of black skinny jeans and a blue Mayday Parade shirt. She heard Demyx grumble something about a hangover and soon he made his appearance into the kitchen He'd pulled on his boxers and Jeans to somewhat cover himself up.

"I have somewhere I need to be soon, so If you don't mind?" She looked at the guy who in turn nodded and went to retrieve the rest of his belongings. Soon the door shut behind him and she checked her phone. She had several missed calls from Axel, but she didn't really care. The call that interested her was from a 407 area code. That was Orlando. She gulped as she called the number back.

"Hello?" A guy on the other end of the phone answered.

"I received a call from this number? Is this about my recent Ebay purchase because the jewelry was a lot less impressive in person," She ranted.

"No ma'am I was actually looking for someone by the name of Kirra," The man asked and she had to fight back the fear she was feeling.

"Well there is no one here by that name, I'm sorry you wasted your time," She told him and he gave her a small thank you then hung up. The voice had been so familiar but she couldn't be sure which person it had been. She set the phone down and sighed.

Cloud set his phone down with a shake of his head. He looked at it with a glare. Since two years ago, he'd been looking for her and this lead had been so perfect, maybe too perfect. No one had answered the phone, but he was surprised when it began ringing. Someone was calling him back.

"Hello?" He answered.

"I received a call from this number? Is this about my recent Ebay purchase because the jewelry was a lot less impressive in person," The voice was unmistakably Kirra's. She sounded well and kind of angry. He let her voice wash over him and took a deep breath. He hoped that she would tell him it was her if he asked but he doubted it.

"No ma'am I was actually looking for someone by the name of Kirra," He sat there for a moment while the other end went silent for a moment.

"Well there is no one here by that name, I'm sorry you wasted your time," She told him and he nodded his head, knowing she wouldn't have told him anyways.

"Well thank you anyways for your time," He hung up the phone and stared at the number.

New York, she was in New York.

Kirra stood and hoped that nothing would change yet. She wanted to enjoy this life she had created for herself. She took a deep breath and grabbed her jacket before leaving the apartment. She grabbed a small breakfast at a cafe across the street from her apartment and walked toward central park. She spotted a flyer on a pole; she'd been seeing them for weeks and had ignored them. Forgetting Last Friday Here In New York! The date was set for tomorrow and she sighed. She had to get out of the city before anyone recognized her as an ex-member of the band. She saw a picture of the band now, they hadn't replaced her, Jagger had just taken to singing all of the songs.

She'd even gone to buy the new album when it was released. She pulled her headphones out of her pocket and began playing one of the new songs they had made, no doubt it was about her. Jagger knew she'd been upset, probably fearing she'd committed suicide. She'd wanted to, and she had tried, but every single time, someone had saved her. Jumping from the Manhattan Bridge, trying to overdose on heroin, alcohol poisoning and even eating a handful of pills. There was something that was trying to keep her alive and she had no clue why.

She sighed and ripped down the flyer, folding it neatly and placing it in her back pocket. If she couldn't see them in person then maybe she could listen to some of their new music and hope they were okay, but when Jagger's voice filled her ears, she wanted to cry. He sounded heartbroken and near tears.

"As she sits in the corner  
Face to the floor  
She dispels smoke from from her lips  
And slowly floats away with it  
Letting go of so much pain  
Her tears are thick enough to stain  
The pavement that slowly becomes  
Her best friend when she needs to run away" She could hear the disappointment in his voice, his thoughts obviously on her, maybe she could go to the show, staying the back and keep herself away from their wandering eyes. Perhaps she could go. It would be a relief to set eyes on a piece of her life before two years ago.

"This is your time to weep  
This is your time to mourn  
Not yet time to build up  
Just a time to tear down  
Old walls" Rayne's death was the time to mourn, he had seen her self destruction the moment the tiny boy had left the earth. She'd been willing to throw herself in front of a truck to get him back, but her efforts would have been futile.

"Does it help to say I'm sorry  
If so than I'm sorry that your so unhappy  
This life those lies are starting get you down  
Darling don't let them drag you around  
Saying "it's my fault" doesn't help repeated  
Time, love and Jesus seems to beat it  
She'll find out this is harder than  
Taking medicine

"This is your time to weep  
This is your time to mourn  
Not yet time to build up  
Just a time to tear down  
This is your time to weep  
This is your time to mourn  
Not yet time to build up  
Just a time to tear down

"We're still waiting for the fire  
We're still waiting for the fire  
Seeing smoke and waiting for the fire  
We're still waiting for the fire  
We're still waiting for the fire  
Seeing smoke and waiting for the fire  
We're still waiting for the fire

"This is your time to weep  
This is your time to mourn  
Not yet time to build up  
Just a time to tear down  
This is your time to weep  
This is your time to mourn  
Not yet time to build up  
Just a time to tear down  
Old walls" By the time the song had finished she was near tears. She climbed the steps to her apartment and saw a figure standing in front of her door way.

"Can I help you" She asked, ready to run down the stairs if necessary. The figure turned and she couldn't help but gasp. Blonde hair framed an angled face. His sharp blue eyes were staring at her and she turned to look away from him. She looked down the stairs to see a feisty red head coming her way and she groaned.

"Raea? Is that you, why are you just standing out here?" Axel asked.

"Kira?" Jagger's voice filled the empty hallway and The blonde girl just wanted to cry.

"Does it help to say I'm sorry, If so than I'm sorry that you're so unhappy," She quoted the song lyrics she had been listening to moments before. Jagger looked at his feet with a sigh. Axel had reached her now.

"Hey aren't you Jagger? From FLF? What are you doing-" Axel was cut off by Jagger taking three steps and hugging the girl beside him. She held very still as Axel watched he was murmuring something to her that he couldn't quite hear. Then out of nowhere she shoved him, pushing him to stumble backwards.

"Jagger. Stop, please. I left for a reason. I don't want to be up on stage anymore, prancing around pretending to be a sensitive broken artist just so we could sell more albums. You seem to be playing that card exceptionally, all by yourself," She looked at him with a glare.

"Kirra, why are you mad at me?" He asked with a hurt expression.

"Because you fell in love with me! You were my rock! The only thing in the world that wouldn't change! We'd been through everything together. You were the first person to ever meet Rayne, the first one to accept the truth from me, and you fell in love with me. Then you turn around a write a song about it!" She yelled her frustrations at him, while Axel looked severely confused.

"Why is that a bad thing? I'm the one who should be mad at you! You left me, the last thing I ever heard from you was 'I'm fine, Jagger, promise!' and then you disappeared. You left me alone after four years of constant companionship. You left me to come here and move on with your life. Did you even think of me? Or Cloud for that matter? Sasori? Deidara? Pein?" He began talking to her and she wanted to cry but she wouldn't not in front of Axel.

"Raea? What's going on? Who is he?" Axel asked with a confused look.

"Her name isn't Raea, that's her Mother's name. Her name is Kira Ikinumari. She's lied to you, to everyone here because she didn't want to come home," Jagger glared at Axel.

"Raea? Tell me that he's lying. That you haven't lied to me," Axel begged her, but she wouldn't look at the red-head, her glare was perfectly trained on the blonde in front of her.

"You came here to ruin my life? To destroy everything I built? You would come here to make me relive the deaths of those I love?" Her voice was shaking. "I left so I didn't have to relive every memory that has been burned into the recesses of my brain! I DIDN'T WANT TO REMEMBER ANYMORE!" She yelled at him, tears were streaming down her cheeks. When Jagger spoke his voice was somber.

"You didn't have to just disappear Kirry, you could have told someone- anyone- that you were leaving. Genisis told us you were coming home, and then you didn't. You let us all believe that you were dead!" He told her.

"I have been dead, ever since Rayne and Zack died. They took the last pieces of me with them," She spoke, her voice seeming as far away as Jagger should have been at that moment.

"You ran away because you were scared. Scared of living with the repercussions of what happen that day with Itachi. Why couldn't you just come home? You left me, all alone..." Jagger sounded like a child at that moment. Kirra glared at the blonde now. His words hurt her but not as much as she could hurt him.

"Jagger. I left because when I was there nothing good ever happened. I moved here to start new, to find myself where you can be anyone. You think I was scared of staying, but do you know how hard it was to leave? Everything and everyone I know is back in Florida, but I came here with only what little money I took from Cloud and decided that I could start over, and do you know what the only reminder I had was?" She glared at the boy.

"What?" Jagger's voice cracked with that one word.

"The second child that Itachi impregnated me with. Again I would have to look at the face of a child that was fathered by that bastard and you have the audacity to stand here and tell me that I left you alone? Jagger almost everyday I find myself wishing I could go back to the life I left behind. I knew that if I went back nothing would be the same," She told him and watched the pain on his face turn to anger.

"I know that Itachi wasn't Rayne's father, Kirra. You lied about that to keep Shisui's name untarnished," Jagger turned away from her, he was angry and didn't want Kirra to see. Kirra bit her lip and shut her eyes tight.

"I don't want you here Jagger, you're fucking everything up," She told him. She watched him clench his fist so tight his knuckles began to turn white.

"Why would you do this to us? To me, to Razor, to Cloud?" He asked, Cloud's name seemed like venom on his tongue. "I may hate Cloud, but there is no doubt that he loves you. He loved you when you were with Zack, he loved you when he found out about Rayne, He loved you when you left and he still loves you. I hate him because he will get to love you," Kirra could hear the hurt in his voice. "You know what the really twisted thing is? The day Zack asked you out, I had this whole day planned out where I'd tell you how I truly felt. And when I got to your house, he was there kissing you. He was there to do what I had been trying to do for so many years. When I finally told you..." He paused and clenched his fists again, "You rejected me. Rejected to even acknowledge my confession and disappeared," Jagger turned to face her and Kirra took in his face. he hadn't been sleeping well, there were dark bags under his eyes, and he was skinny, too skinny.

"What have you done to yourself Jagger?" Kirra whispered. Thoughts began running through her mind, visions of Zack's note and the feeling that it was all her fault.

"Raea- Kirra? Who are you?" Axel spoke for the first time in a long time and she turned wide eyes to look at the boy.

"Axel, you need to leave. I'll be fine, just go," She told him and watched as he nodded. He slowly walked down the stairs and Kirra pulled her keys out to unlock her door. "We don't need to continue this out here. It seems there is more to talk about than I thought," Kirra pushed her door open and looked at Jagger. He walked up and hugged her again, bending down to lay his head on her shoulder.

"Kirra? Will you let me stay here tonight? I don't want to leave you. I'm afraid that if I do, I'll never find you again," His voice sounded scared and Kirra felt her heart breaking in her chest. She nodded softly and he nodded. She nudged him into the apartment, he complied and sat on the couch with a sigh. His head was placed in his hands and he smiled. "I can't believe I actually found you," Jagger told her.

"I can't either," She said as she sat down next to him. A long moment passed before either of them said anything.

"Am I the reason you left?" Jagger asked finally breaking the silence.

"No," She told him and he looked at her as if he'd expected a different answer. "I left because I couldn't handle losing anyone else that meant everything to me. I couldn't imagine losing you, Razor, Cloud, Sasori, anyone. You all mean the world to me and I can't stand the thought of anyone dying anymore," She told him.

"I thought you didn't want me to love you," He told her.

"I don't want you to.. because with love comes heartbreak," She told him.

"It doesn't change anything," Jagger told her. Kirra closed her eyes tightly to force back the tears. She felt him take her hand and hold it with such care it astounded her. As if she would break at any moment. "And you know that you love me too. I can see it Kirra," Jagger whispered to her and this time she didn't deny it. She was gathered in his arms now, taking in the sweet scent of her childhood. She felt him pull her into his lap and she wound her arms around her neck. He was holding her tightly now, not wanting to let her escape. She buried her face in his neck. They stayed like this for a long time before his grip loosened slightly. She sat up so that she could look into his startling blue eyes.

"If nothing else, we could have tonight," She whispered and brought her lips to his gently. Jagger seemed shocked at first and then melted into the kiss.

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**Oh yeah, I'm leaving you there just to torment you :]**


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